Amaze Me!
by maycontestdrew
Summary: Everyone knows that Drew and May hate eachother. Then they end up partners in an writing assignment. BY the second paragraph, they are at war. Then May's dad and Drew's mum start dating, and they can finally agree on something - it's got to stop. But will sparks fly between May and Drew as they set the story straight? Contestshipping and OldRivalShipping!
1. Chapter 1: Tandem-Story!

**So, here is my new story! Another Contestshipping one! I hope you enjoy! So, it starts in the bathroom with Drew. There is ink in his hair. That's how it all starts. With ink. **

**I would like to thank my cousin for the idea of this story. She is in year 12, and she does extension English and told me about it. She also explained to me the concept of Tandem stories too! So thanks so much Natasha! Lo loves you!**

**Monday **

There's even ink in Drew's hair! He could clearly see the dark blue stains of ink running through his lush green hair because of the mirror.

The leaky pen was in the bin, and so is the wrecked cover of Drew's maths book, and in the classroom above the bathroom, Extension English was starting. Gary was explaining to Professor Birch that Drew's pen leaked in his bag and Drew was in the toilets, ink still everywhere. How could one little pen hold so much?

Drew finally turned up to the classroom with his hair wet and some stain from the ink still on his hands. Professor Birch smiled and nodded. Looks at the hair. Says nothing. He was sitting on the edge of his desk, clicking the cap on and off a whiteboard marker.

He looks, as always, like Hugh Grant with a belly. A faded shirt not quite properly tucked in, a limp lick of hair waiting to be brushed from his forehead, his face set with his usual look of worn-out wry amusement.

The room's different.

"We have changed the seating arrangements today, Drew," Birch said. "We're working on something new." Drew headed for the nearest set of empty desks and Birch says, "No, no, we're all sitting next to people today. Pairs. It's all about pairs."

And the only unmade pair in the room was May Maple and the vacant seat next to her. She looked at Drew. Drew looked at her. They were like gunslingers in the Western, just for a second, staring each other down some dusty empty street. Frankly, they would both take a bullet rather than go with this.

Professor Birch was still talking. "No one is allowed to sit next to anyone they usually sit next to. It's all part of the task. So, it looks like you're with May."

May, who had last spoke to Drew 15 months ago, making it clear they were never to be friends again. May, who was glaring at Drew as if he deliberately basted himself with so he could turn up late and wreck her day. Or, as it turns out, her next two weeks. Their next two weeks.

Professor Birch writes '_TANDEM STORY' _on the board while Drew walked over and sat next to May. May treated him like a disease that just oozed her way. She slid her books across to the far side of her desk, rolls her eyes and sighs. What was she? Six?

May sniffed. She blew her nose noisily into the crinkly tissue she had got balled up in her hand. That just kept getting better for Drew. As if sitting next to May Maple wasn't enough, now Drew got to share the cloud of micro-organisms May was honking around them. She blew her nose again, and then settled back into a snuffle.

"This is an exercise," Birch says. "An exercise to bring to the surface the issues that comes up as part of the writing process – narrative, characterisation, tone or voice, observation, questions about opening up possibilities and shutting them down, making choices. And you have to do all that without discussing it. Your only contact about your story should be by email, and the emails cannot include any planning. There will also be a companion essay, which should be partly theory but more of an evaluation of what you have been through. You'll submit both the story and the companion essay, but only the essay will be assessed. I want you to feel free to take risks with the story. Surprise each other. Really make something of it."

May made a few notes, but then started drawing, and the drawing became Professor Birch's face in a metal helmet with a crown on it. Drew almost laughed but he stopped it on the way out. May cupped her hand around the drawing, the covered it with her packet of tissues and sat back, sniffing and blinking and playing with her brown hair, feigning complete attention to the front of the room.

Professor Birch's speech continues. May Maple and Drew Haydens were partners. That was what it all added up to. Tandem-story partners with an essay ahead of them and, way worse than that, a story to share. Starting tonight or tomorrow, writing the story a paragraph in turn, one paragraph a day until two weeks from Wednesday.

At the end of the class, after another fierce blow of her nose, May gave Drew a hard look and said, "I'm starting. I'm writing the first bit…"

"Sure," Drew told her, like someone who couldn't care less – who couldn't care less that those were the first words between them in 15 months. "Amaze me."

**After School**

"That's not a bad line," Gary said later when they were talking about it. "'Amaze me.' Sometimes mere surprise is not enough. Where does she get off telling you she's going first?"

"She's being May Maple. It's her job to be annoying. I don't know who gave it to her, but that's how she is. And now we're story buddies for the next two weeks or so. Excellent." Drew replied with obvious sarcasm.

Gary should have been Drew's partner. On any normal, non-ink-stained day when Birch hadn't been inspired to mess up the room, that's where Drew would have been sitting.

"Jeez, how's it going to be?" Gary said and laughed. "A story with May Maple. You of all people. Maybe this'll sort out the ugly ending with Leaf!"

"And maybe it won't." Drew told him.

The two boys were playing handball. As they're slapping the ball across the concrete, Gary started to laugh again.

"And maybe it won't," Gary mimics in a whiny voice, and just his lip out into a big sad pout.

Drew grabbed the ball and chucked it at Gary and it ricochet off his shoulder and into the bushes.

It was all in Drew's head as he was walking to his home about what happened 15 months ago.

**Flashback**

"**Leaf is going out with someone else now," May said, "and that's all you need to know. You've blown it, buddy. You don't need me to tell you how, but you've blown it." **

**And May walked back across the science block, to Leaf who was sitting under a Frangipani Tree, holding her lunch but not eating it, looking Drew's way. It was anger, mostly, that Drew could see on her face. **

**End of Flashback**

Leaf does something else while May, Drew and Gary do Extension English. Who knows what? Not Drew.

Just as Drew arrives at home, he spots an exhausted Soledad outside his house. She was training her Slowbro. Soledad is Drew's 'babysitter' when Gardiena, Drew's mum, is at work.

"Hello, Drew," Soledad said, catching her breath and returning Slowbro. "Why don't I make you some tea?"

Soledad looked tired. Time for Drew to be a good citizen.

"Why don't I make you some?" Drew said to her as he reached for his keys. "My mum's bought something new, some kind she hasn't tried before. It might be Central Kanto."

"Well, it would be, wouldn't it?" Soledad said with a lift of an eyebrow. "If it's at all possible."

The air in the apartment was still and thick with the heat of the day, so Drew got the AC pumping. Drew's mum, Gardiena, had left her Ancient Kanto phrasebook in the kitchen. All this is due to Cilan, the new man in all their lives, and Gardiena's fiancée.

Drew's mum sweeps in around six, a cyclone of papers and keys and things she picked up at the shops. Fresh bread, a punnet of coriander seedlings that may not live long and part of today's work copy of _The Courier Mail_.

"So, you're OK then," Gardiena said, like a tick falling into a box. She was looking around the room for signs that showed that Drew was not OK. There was none.

"I'm OK," Drew told her, "but _The Simpsons _is starting, so your enquiries are limited to the ad breaks, alright?"

"Charming. Charming Boy. Remember how hard I worked to get you that Widescreen TV?" Gardiena asked while piling her things onto the breakfast bar. "Or maybe we shouldn't go there."

"No. There's a tiny heart in Retravision that's probably still broken."

"Yes, well…" Gardiena said, and left it at that. "Anyways, plenty to do, right?"

Gardiena put a casserole in the oven to reheat for Drew and tossed a salad for herself, eating it standing at the breakfast bar watching _The Simpsons. _Gardiena asked about school. Drew didn't tell her much.

"No really, I'm interested." Gardiena said, mildly affronted. "I want some content."

"It's school. It's not big on content. My pen leaked." Drew said.

"Happens to the best of us," Gardiena said, in a thanks-for-nothing kind of way, even though they both knew there was no time for conversation now. "That was seriously the biggest thing in your day?"

Biggest thing in Drew's day? Two weeks partnered in story, and probably disease, with May Maple – maybe that would be number one.

"I went to school; I did the regular school things. Six classes, three sausage rolls. I came home. Solid but unremarkable progress, ink on my hands." Drew told her.

Drew didn't mention May Maple. If he mentioned May Maple, there will need to be context offered. Context would include Leaf. Leaf is a topic they would not be discussing.

The ad break ended.

"Well, good for you! Good for you and your regular day!" Gardiena said, happy since she thought she had drained Drew of all his news.

She left her bowl and headed of for Salsa Dancing, Ancient Kanto style. And Drew blamed Cilan for all of it.

Frankly, if Cilan was anymore of a slug he'd leave a trail, mostly between the TV and the fridge.

But they try, Drew and Soledad, they try. Drew fetched him beers and asked Cilan every possible question about his work. Soledad brought over pictures of her tour from Kanto, but Cilan just smiled and nodded at the photos, as if a little embarrassed to see his world brought out into the open. Drew had wondered if there was something bad in his past, bad in the civil war there, so Drew tried to be sensitive. And make allowances for the revolting mango smell.

Drew sighed. Everyone was entitled to relationships that don't work out. Drew's dad had gotten married again, so Drew had two step-sisters. Erika was nearly 16, and Casey was nearly 8.

Drew quickly checked his emails. He was glad there was none from May Maple.

Drew had just gotten into bed when Gardiena and Cilan had arrived home. One of them – maybe both of them – started going '_shoosh shoosh'. _

Drew was sure that someone was in the lounge room, pointing at his room door in a meaningful _'don't scare the child with our grubby porn! '_way. Drew wanted to yell out and tell them they were not in pantomime. Drew heard the DVD start to play, and the volume quickly dropped. Drew shoved a pillow over his head, knowing it was for the best anyways.

There was a storm in the night, and it woke Drew. It was about 3am. While Drew was lying there, Drew noticed light under his door. Drew got out of bed and opened it, silently, and there was Cilan at the breakfast bar whit Gardiena's Ancient Kanto phrasebook. He seemed to be taking notes.

**Yep! Suspicious Ending! What was Cilan doing? **

**Sorry if this was a bit confusing! And, Leaf and Drew do not make contact in any part of this story! I hope! I will never let it happen! **

**I hope you enjoyed! And I accept all reviews! Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2: Jail?

**Ok! So, my first reviewer is…CBB! Again! CBB, you are just amazing! You review basically everything I do, and encourage me! So, thanks! **

**I already got a few reviews! People in this world are just amazing! Love you all!**

**CBB: You are simply amazing! You always are looking out for me and helping me out! Thanks sooo much!**

**EVL: I love you, Lauizzle! Supportive twin sistahs FTW! **

**SBS: My newest reviewer! THANKS SO MUCH! Please make sure Officer Jenny won't kill me! I beg you!**

**L. : You amazing person! Another new reviewer too! Thanks so much! I really appreciate that!**

**EternityRoze262: You are such a nice and encouraging person! Thank you sooo much! I really appreciate all those nice comments!**

**The reason I am posting this today is because I got told Officer Jenny would kill me, if I posted late! And I am far too young to die! Please Jenny, have mercy! Have mercy on me!**

**And I am going to Brisbane today, so I will see you all later! In about 2 weeks or something. Wish me luck! What sucks though is I will be in the Maroons territory…**

**Anyways, here is the next chapter. BTW, Caroline is May's mum, Norman is her dad and Max is her brother. **

**I am extremely happy! I already got 3 constant reviewers! **

**Tuesday, at the chemist, with May. **

May felt like crap. What was worse was that she was standing in the chemist with itchy eyes and a runny nose, trying desperately to remember the brand names that her dad had rattled of this morning while he was simultaneously eating a piece of toast, doing up his tie and trying to catch a glimpse of the news on _Sunrise. _

May heard a suspicious thump and glanced left to see Max punching a red drug-company display balloon as though he was in a boxing ring and not in the middle of the shopping mall.

"Hey!" May said, giving Max a good poke in the arm.

Max shot May a resentful look, which May ignored as she turned back to the counter and waited for Nurse Joy to return. May's nose started to do that tingling thing it does when it's being irritated by some invisible enemy and desperately wants to sneeze. It didn't help, though – May had sneezed about 85 billion in the past 2 days. May's eyes went water and half-closed, but then the feeling passed. May let out a deep sigh, fumbled around in her pocket for a tissue and blew her nose. She could imagine how feral she must look. How feral she had probably looked since that hay fever hit her like a truck yesterday morning.

May could honestly say that right now she would do anything, give anything, to make it go away.

"Nasal-spray is definitely the way to go with hay fever this severe. It's very effective." Nurse Joy suggested as she appeared to the counter.

May could honestly say that right now she would do anything, give anything, to make it go away. _Except a Nasal-Spray. _

May looked up. "A nasal-spray? Can't I just use tablets or something?"

The thought of spraying something up her nose just seemed very, very wrong. And gross. And May could just tell that whatever she sprayed up there, she was going to be tasting after five seconds.

May's nose started to run. Again. May fumbled around in her pocket for another tissue. Again. The, tissue firmly placed on her nose, May glanced over at Max who had picked up a 500g bag of jellybeans.

Max looked up at May as though she had caught him shoplifting, not simply contemplating the likelihood of May buying him lollies.

"Don't even go there. Your teeth are going to rot out of your skull if you keep shoving all that sugar into your mouth. What would mum say?" May said. With her free hand, she confiscated the jellybean packet out of Max's hands and tossed the packet back onto the shelf.

"She would say that I have to let her eat the black ones?" Max said raising his eyebrows hopefully.

"Nice try, but no. Do you want to go back to Professor Elm and get a filling?"

"Professor Elm smells like we." Max grimaced.

"The nasal spray has cortisone in them. I'd _really _recommend a spray." Nurse Joy offered, once again.

Nurse Joy was holding out a small box while pointedly glancing over May's shoulder at the queue of people behind her. Clearly, Nurse Joy wanted May and her hay-fever issues out of the centre.

"May. Hurry-_up_." Max said.

"Alright. May said, death-glaring Max.

May had to get something and she couldn't keep taking those clod & flu tablets. May couldn't afford to be drowsy. Not tonight when she has got that damn story to start.

"I'll take it then." May said to Nurse Joy. Then May looked down at Max, rolled her eyes and tosses a mini packet of jellybeans on the counter. "I'll take these as well."

Naturally, like the addict that he is, Max's eyes light up and he grins. While Nurse Joy was sorting out the change, May tossed Max the purple packet , which he immediately ripped open, jamming no less than 8 jellybeans in his mouth. May felt like his personal drug dealer.

May shoved the change into her pocket, chemist packet in hand, watched as Max ran ahead leaving his Breloom school bag at May's feet. It was disturbing how often Max treated May like a Sherpa.

Two hours later and May was sitting on her desk agonising over her opening paragraph for the tandem story. It had taken her 90 minutes to write 15 sentences, none of which she would use. This, of course, was ridiculous. The problem was Drew Haydens. May couldn't get his smug _'amaze me' _line out of her head. Drew was just so totally up himself. And not that May gave a shit what his opinion is, but May knew and Drew knew that whatever May sent him, he was going to do his utmost best to rip it into shreds. So the opening paragraph had to be impressive. More than impressive. The best piece of writing May had ever done.

However, after a while, May momentarily gave up on the paragraph, saving what she had written in her Drafts folder, and let her mind wander away.

May's mobile beeped. May checked it, imagining for half a second that it would be a message from Drew Haydens. It was not, of course. Instead, it was a message from Leaf who, at 5:30pm on a Tuesday, felt the need to announce the following: _'I have the eyebrows of a man.' _

May sensed a quiet desperation in Leaf's text and suspected it was only a matter of time before Leaf called. The fact was that May's best friend of six years was a little insecure about her looks. Currently, she had a thing about her brows and regularly found herself anguishing over them when she should be cramming for next week's Biology exam!

Mat texted her back. _'Call me when you can plait them.'_

May's phone started to buzz and May answered immediately. "You don't have the eyebrows on a man. They looked fine this morning." May said. She pushed back on her study chair far enough so that she could rest her feet on the table.

Leaf didn't respond.

"You alright?" May asked.

"Ok, so don't be mad at me." Leaf muttered.

"Why would I be mad at you?"

There is silence while the penny rolls around and around and around in May's head. Then it drops.

"OM MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME! YOU TEXTED HIM? YOU TEXTED HIM, DIDN'T YOU?" May sat bolt upright in her chair, scrambling to get her feet back onto the floor before she fell off.

"Maybe." Leaf replied.

"Oh my goodness gracious me. You totally promised me you weren't going to. You promised me on Sunday and on Monday and just a few hours ago in the locker room that you would not contact him again and that if he contacted you, you wouldn't respond." May muttered, her forehead resting on her desk.

"Yeah, but I didn't want him to think I was angry at him!"

May sat up again. "Um, hello? You _are _angry at him! Leaf, Aaron stood you up. This is why we spent all of Sunday talking about how you were better off having nothing to do with him ever again. Right? Remember that? Remember the '_He's a bastard, I can do better and deserve better' _conversation? Leaf, the guy left you stranded at Burgh's party last week. Remember how Fantina said he left with some random? And then he made plans with you on Friday but never showed up. He's a tool, Leaf. A total knob. This is the guy who had dinner with your family and at the end of the meal actually used the expression _'I'm as full as a fat sheila's knickers.' _He is beyond gross!"

"So I should delete Aaron's number out of my phone." Leaf sighed.

"Excellent idea!"

"And who cares anyways, right?"

"Right!"

May heard a yelp from outside. "Leaf, I'll have to call you back." May said.

May rolled backwards along the floorboards on the caster wheels of her study chair and glanced out of the bedroom window. May saw Max, bike helmet askew, brushing dirt and grass and azalea petals off his knees. Not for the first time this afternoon, May wished her mum or dad was home.

"You alright?" May called out.

Max looked up. Saw May watching him. He nodded more vigorously and gave May two thumbs up. Then he started to reassemble a ramp out of some paint tins and plywood. It was like he was creating a primary-school version of _Jackass_. May rolled back to her desk and watched out of the corner of her eye as Max lined his bikes up and began to wrap one of his dad's ties over his eyes.

Max wouldn't.

May watched in horror as Max adjusted the tie so that his vision is completely obscured.

Ok, so apparently he would.

"MAX!" May thumped her window frame to get his attention.

Max turned his blindfolded head that way and like some pathetic hostage, tried to work out where May's voice was coming from. Eventually he pulled down the tie, peeked over the top and looked up at May.

"Hey, Johnny Knoxville, what have I said about doing stuff blindfolded? You'll hurt yourself." May pointed out.

Max rolled his eyes dramatically and said, "Whatever. I'll go to see Falkner and Marshal's house instead." And with that, Max dropped his bike on the spot, stepped over it and headed to Falkner's house next door via the communal gate in the fence. The tie hung loose around his neck. He looked like a dishevelled miniature office worker.

May nodded more to herself than to Max, taking a mental note to make mum aware of Max's current BMX Stunt-Riding phase. Things seemed to be getting passes her lately.

When their home phone started to ring May made a great effort, as always, to catch it before it clicks over to their lame Maple Family answering-machine message. It was Caroline's and Max's idea they say a few words each. May got stuck with _'please leave a'_. Frankly, May sounded retarded. May got to the receiver before the machine kicked in.

"May speaking," May said, holding the phone up with her shoulder as she glanced through some of today's mail.

"Oh, May. May, it's your mother." Caroline said.

"Oh, hi."

May tossed the mail aside and leaned on the marble kitchen counter, noticing an open Oreo packet on the table. May shook the plastic tray down so she could see how many of those chocolate little suckers were there, only to be faced with a virtually empty tray. Seemed like Max was there before May and he had pretty much eaten the entire packet since he got home. May shoved one of the two remaining biscuits into her mouth.

"The thing is, ah, well, I can't get hold of Aunty Lillian -" Caroline started.

"You know, Max has started doing these crazy BMX stunt things in the front yard. I mean, I wouldn't be letting him do that if I were you – not without elbow and kneepads or a full-face helmet or something. He's gonna knock he teeth out. I just caught him trying to do some stunt, blindfolded." May interrupted, while chowing down on the last Oreo. May figures that is was a good time to offload her concerns about Max onto the person who gave birth to him.

"Jumps, right…" Caroline sounded distracted.

May heard a phone ringing and raised voices in the background of Caroline's call.

"Where are you? I thought we were having Shepard's pie for dinner. Because you promised you'd make it. Mum?" May got the distinct feeling that something was wrong.

And that was when Caroline uttered the one thing May would never, ever have expected her mother, Caroline Maple, to say.

"May, I'm at the Police Station. I need you to come and pick me up."

**In the car with Leaf, May and Max.**

"Maybe she is a Glameow burglar or something. A high-rise jewel thief. Living a whole other life which you don't know about, outside the law." Leaf suggested.

May looked at Leaf but she was looking over her shoulder, preparing to merge into the right lane, accompanied by the sound of an indicator light that's clicking twice as fast as it should.

"You should get that fixed." May said, through a mouthful of apple, nodding towards the indicator.

"And you shouldn't change the subject. Shit, I think my eyebrows are meeting up. But you shouldn't change the subject." Leaf said, checking her eyebrows in the rear-vision mirror, frowning.

"Which was?" May asked.

"The possibility that your mum is in the slammer."

"Leaf, this is my mother. Mothers do not get arrested."

"Courtney Love is a mother. Can I have a bite of your apple?"

May rolled her eyes, held the apple to Leaf's mouth and watched as Leaf took an enormous bite.

May looked at the apple. May looked at Leaf and said, "You have the bite mark of a predator."

"Hey, let's just remember _who _is doing _who _a favour here."

"Whom?" May asked innocently.

"Whatever."

She did have a point, though. As soon as May put the phone down from Caroline, May was hit with the realisation that May had the car key but Caroline had the car. When May called Leaf she dropped everything to drive May to the Police Station.

"It's a left here. Up this ramp. Now you need to get onto the right-hand lane." May guided.

"Did Mummy murder somebody?" Max asked.

"WHAT?" May turned around and looked at Max in the back seat of Leaf's car. To be honest, May had actually forgotten Max was there. May looked at Max, but he was concentrating on some Transformer Truck/Monster Toy thing and trying to get it to flip or something.

"MAX! She has not killed anyone, OK?" May half-yelled, clicking her fingers at Max to get him to look at her.

"Ok. Then why is mum in jail?" Max replied.

"Mum is not in jail. She is at the Police Station, probably because she did something stupid like-" May said.

"Will there be bars on her windows and on the door?" Max asked.

"No." May said.

"Possibly." Leaf said.

May elbowed Lead in the arm and sighed. Frankly, the sooner the picked Caroline up and get the whole thing sorted out, the better.

Five minutes later and the 3 of them were pushing through the heavy, swinging doors of the Police Station.

"Remind me what we're here to get – you know, apart from head lice and maybe tinea?" May said to no one in particular.

"May, we're here to get Mum." Max answered.

May looked down into Max's anxious face and put her hand on his shoulder. "I know we are." May said to comfort him.

Eventually, it was their turn at the counter. May tried to keep the embarrassment out of her voice as she told Officer Jenny that they were there to pick up her Mum, Mrs Caroline Maple.

Officer Jenny coughed into a closed fist, wiped his forehead on his arm and said, "Hang on."

Less than a minute later, May and Max's Mum rounds around the corner wearing the pink dress she wore to last year's Grand Festival to support May. Minus the fascinator.

May began to suspect she was arrested for over-dressing.

Caroline waked sheepishly over to May, Max and Leaf, barefoot, stilettos slung over her shoulder, her facial muscles acting as scaffolding to the propped up, shaky smile on her face.

Caroline fake laughed. May stared at her open-mouthed. She looked drunk.

"You look drunk." May pointed out. Officer Jenny nods in agreement.

"Oh, don't be ridiculush-lous, ridiculous. I am not drunk." Caroline said, hopping up and down on one foot while attempting to jam her left shoe onto her right foot.

Suddenly, May felt as if she had Britney Spears as a mother.

Then Caroline dabbed the corners of her mouth with a tissue, pushed a lock of hair out of her eyes and said, "Now, I think if we take that road, we will miss most of the traffic." She said as she hobbled outside the Station.

"You coming, May?" Caroline asked, turning around to see May standing on the spot.

May marched up, grabbed her Mum's elbow and pulled her out of earshot of Max and Leaf.

"Do you want to tell me what on earth is going on here? What have you been doing? Why are you drunk?"

"I am not drunk! I'm just…Merry!" Caroline said again, her arms flailing for emphasis.

"Uh-huh." May replied sarcastically.

Caroline brushed imaginary lint off her silk dress. "I was at a breast-cancer fundraising lunch and I miscalculated the number of drinks I could have and still be safe to dive." Caroline said.

"Drive." May corrected.

Caroline leaned onto May, gripping her arm for support, "That's right! That's right. And I couldn't call a cab because I'd run out of cash and maxed my Credit Card out bidding on a certain celebrity auction item."

Caroline gave a sly raise of her eyebrows, and May never wanted to know what the item was.

"So, thank you for coming in to get me! It was much appreciated!" Caroline said.

May watched as her mother straightened her dress and smoothed down her hair and started to push on a door that said _PULL_. As May stood there holding her Mum's handbag and shoes, she heard her Mum mutter, "Now all I have to do is tell your father…"

**That night, with May.**

May's parents argue into the night. About the usual stuff. May heard the whole argument from her room as she attempted to sleep.

…**..**

"You're never home, and it always makes me feel like a single parent!"

"I have no choice but to work for long hours since someone has to pay for the private-school fees! And frankly, I would rather be at work then at home where I am being verbally attacked!"

"I'm tired of having to do everything by myself and I am sick to death of having to _ask _for money when I just want to bloody buy a $3 _New Idea _Magazine!"

…

May lied in her bed and looked at the clock – 11pm – May was reassured that Max would be asleep by now. May hoped that this fight wouldn't end up with one of them sleeping in the spare room. She remembered how anxious Max would get whenever they're parents would have a fight.

…**.**

"What were you doing drunk at 4pm on a Tuesday afternoon?"

"I was hardly drunk! It was just a miscalculation on my part! I just wish I had a life outside this goddamn house! It may surprise you, but I didn't harbour childhood dreams of making sandwiches every single day of my fucked up life!"

…**..**

May's spirit wilted.

All of a sudden, May felt the urge to get the argument away from her. She had an idea. The tandem story.

May contemplated leaving it and just getting up early tomorrow morning and writing it, but technically they were supposed to start today. Not tomorrow. And if May made one wrong move, she just knew that Drew Haydens was going to make a big deal out of it.

May blew her nose as quietly as she could, pushed the covers back and moved silently over to her desk. May deleted what she did before and wrote the paragraph from start to finish in just 8 minutes. May was too tired to care anymore about what Drew thought. Then May typed in her password, pressed _Send _and imagined her words hurtling through Cyberspace

_TANDEM STORY: May Maple and Drew Haydens_

_She wakes. Disappointment seeps through her body. For a moment she lies perfectly still, her breath low. Deep. Reluctant. She let herself imagine that what actually lies ahead is blinding light. The feeling of pushing through the finishing-line tape. The sheer and utter relief that it is over. She imagines Christopher. But then the sound of a garbage truck begins. A car horn beeps. A child squeals. A distant phone starts to ring. Her eyes open as though of their own violation. Elizabeth always hated Tuesdays. _

**Yeah, sorry if this chapter seemed a bit rushed! It was rushed! I worked yesterday and today on it, and I really am sorry! **

**The bit in italics down at the bottom is the paragraph May wrote to Drew. All emails will be written in italics. And, the Officer Jenny idea was actually given to me by StrawberriiSuzu! So, that is why I decided that someone should go to the police station! I know, sounds weird, but I needed ideas quite desperately!**

**Parents….arguments….Poor May….I know how she feels, though. What I have written about the arguments is what I actually feel. So, if you think it is written a bit strangely, I will just tell you that that bit is not really my imagination and words taking place, just my words and memory. **

**Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this rushed chapter! I am leaving home tonight, so I will see you all in about 2 weeks!**


	3. Chapter 3: Anxious for Action!

**I am back! Some of you may have noticed that I did get internet in Brisbane because I managed to reply to some of your PMs! And boy, I got billions. Anyways, it feels so good to be back in the Blues Territory! *kisses ground* **

**Anyways, thanks for the support a lot of you have given me to write this chapter! I really appreciate that! HAPPY CONTESTSHIPPING DAY! To be honest, I didn't realise it existed until my Lauizzle Sistah told me! *headdesks* **

**Anyways, here is chapter 3! For those who forgot, Gardiena is Drew's mum. Cilan is her boyfriend, who says he is from the Ancient Kanto. **

**And, for the Ancient Kanto language, I don't actually know Ancient Kanto! So, I just did Normal English words, written backwards! Not sure if I will even use it! And, I really have no idea about Cricket that much! I just asked my Daddy about a million questions about it! **

**Wednesday with Drew.  
**

Drew sighed. Well, good for Elizabeth – Elizabeth and her fascinating eye-opening on that dreadful, dreadful Tuesday that started their tandem story. A shred of narrative wouldn't have gone astray.

Drew had got a day to fix this, to get some real writing started.

May's email was waiting for Drew in the morning when he woke up. Actually, he was not properly awake when he looked at the story-starter, so he read through it several times on the assumption that he had missed something. It turned out that he hadn't. There was a bit of seeping, some pushing, and the sound of garbage. Some really. Short. Sentences. Excellent.

Gardiena was scooping homemade Bircher muesli into bowls when Drew got into the kitchen. She pushed yesterdays and a rated bill aside, and the Ancient Kanto phrasebook and a pen fell to the floor. What was Cilan doing, making notes on Monday night? Drew was sure that was what he saw.

Drew picked them up and put them back onto the counter. There was a picture on the front of the book of an Ancient Kanto woman in a broad-brimmed hat and a stiff white-collared shirt. Her face is all in shadow and she looks pensive, even sad. Deep. Reluctant. Disappointment seeped. Stop. Thinking. Of. May. Maple.

"So, how's it going? The Ancient Kanto?" Drew asked. He straightened the book up so that its edge was parallel to the edge of the counter. That was as close as it would get to tidy.

"Well, not quickly! I thought Cilan would want it more, would want to speak Ancient Kanto more. I'm a long way off speaking Ancient Kanto, obviously, but… He says speaking Ancient Kanto could become a bad habit. Not good for his English. But I think I should learn some. Understand the culture…" Gardiena said. She threw some sultanas onto the muesli and took two spoons out of the drawer.

"Watch the DVDs?" Drew stated.

"Well, exactly. Not that there are many movies from Cinnabar Island, but there are plenty Kanto movies!" Gardiena said. She put her down and gazed at the window.

Gardiena knew Drew wasn't too positive on Cilan, so she left it at that.

Actually, Drew was interested, but not in the way Gardiena was hoping. Not because he was warming up to the idea of Cilan coming into their lives. Drew was interested because he was beginning to wonder if Cilan might be a liar. Drew could fantasise about that – about Cilan the fake Kanto citizen being unmasked as an average Hoenn or Unova man or something. But beyond the fantasy, Drew thought he could see things he genuinely doubted.

But Drew had to be ready to be wrong, and to brace himself for the possibility that Cilan might, in some way, make Gardiena happy.

**At school.**

Drew decided it was best if he said nothing to May at school. Her paragraph was undiscussable, and she seemed to be in some sort of mood. Her eyes even looked puffy. Drew tried to stop feeling sorry for her. Professor Birch asked her a question and she hardly seemed to notice.

Gary nudged Drew and said, "You've obviously broken her spirit with your story, man. She used to look okay until she got your paragraph."

Professor Birch looked over their way. "I hope that's not tandem-story talk. We don't talk about tandem-stories, remember? That all happens by email. We want these lively exchanges documented." Birch said, putting on a deep, fake frown.

May blew her nose and groaned. There was no lively exchange in her today. Not that Drew had broken her spirit with anything. May already had more snot than spirit on Monday, and Drew's paragraph doesn't exist yet.

"Oh, wait, May started, didn't she?" Gary said, and then clasped his lips together and slapped his hand over his mouth, as if the words had forced their way out against his will.

Professor Birch gave his raised-eyebrow look, and then moved on.

Gary picked up his pen and wrote on the corner of a page, _'Did sh you?'_

Drew glanced towards May. May gazed blankly at the whiteboard, mouth-breathing. Drew was not amazed.

**With Drew at his house that afternoon**

When Drew arrived home and was greeted by Soledad, he finally decided something. He had to tell Soledad about his Cilan doubts.

"Alright, since you have put it out in the open, I have to admit my doubts as well. I have even got out my photos – the ones from my Kanto tour – and I'm not sure he's quite right." Soledad said, looking into her teacup. Some leaves had escaped the strainer and were clumping at the bottom.

Did I tell you about the time I asked him where his family had come from, and he said they'd lived in a village at the foot of a volcano? I asked him what it was called and he said it was just _'the volcano'_. They only had one, so there was no need for a name. And I pushed him a bit and he got tense and he said it had an old spiritual name, which he could not speak." Drew said.

Soledad put her cup down onto its saucer. "Well, there you are. Very clever. He says something like that and they you look like a good old-fashioned racist if you try making him tell you. Maybe it's true, though." Soledad pointed out.

But Soledad and Drew were not going to let it rest. They kept trying to sound like cautious, decent people, but they were charging on, thinking, believing, hoping that Cilan was a liar and they were going to bring him down. Okay, maybe that was just Drew. Was it any of Drew's business to go after Cilan like that? Yes, dammit. It was Drew's life Cilan was hovering in. What was Gardiena thinking?

They made a few more notes, and a plan.

**After Soledad left, with Drew, Cilan and Gardiena. Cilan and Drew watching cricket. **

"So, when the man with the hat moves his arm that way, it is how many score?" Cilan asked, without looking away from the screen.

"Four. Four runs. If it hits the rope it's four, and that's how he signals it." Drew answered.

Cilan took another mouthful of his beer. Gardiena hovered, hoping it was bonding that she was witnessing – Cilan, Drew and the one-day cricket. The bowler came in, the ball thumped into the batsman's pad and there was a loud appeal.

"No way! He is outside off and he was playing a shot!" Cilan said, almost in a shout. Drew stared at Cilan for a moment. Cilan gave a quick, sheepish smile.

"I learn that one before. Another day. Remember? Outside off, playing a shot? Not out." Cilan covered up.

Drew didn't remember it. He didn't remember it because it never happened.

Cilan let out a small laugh and nodded to Drew, wanting Drew to laugh too. He looked into his beer bottle, which was almost empty.

"So how was school today?" Cilan asked. He looked back at the screen for the next ball, and picked some olive from between his teeth with a fingernail.

"Good. I was reading about Cinnabar Island actually." Drew replied, slyly glancing at Cilan.

"What?" Cilan said. He turned halfway back to Drew, and doesn't get to see the ball.

"Cinnabar Island." Drew repeated.

"Really, how interesting!" Gardiena called out from behind. She poured herself a second glass of wine in the kitchen. She sat down next to Cilan, looked at Drew, looked at Cilan. She was hoping they were on the brink of conversation. Maybe, in their own quiet way, on the brink of a breakthrough.

"I saw that Independence Day is the fifteenth of September, from when the people won independence from Johto in 1827." Drew said, concentrating his gaze onto Cilan.

"Yes." Cilan said in a very guarded way, like someone who could really use a phone-a-friend option.

"I just wondered what you did to celebrate it." Drew stated.

Cilan blinked, looked at Gardiena, looked at Drew. Looked back at the TV and said, "Those lines on the grass – what are they?"

"Fielding restrictions. But tell us about Independence Day." Gardiena said briskly. She was nodding, smiling, keen.

Cilan was clutching the beer with both hands, stuck.

"We didn't do much in my part of the Island. We didn't feel very independent. There has been war, you know." Cilan said, bringing a weary melancholy back into his voice.

"Yes, I saw that. From 1982 to 1994." Drew said, attempting to hide a sigh.

The TV cut to a wild shouted ad about a clearance sale at the convention centre. Gardiena reached for the remote and muted it.

"Decent people. They speak of no war. Not at all, ever." Cilan said grandly.

"So, um, what did people do in your village? Just in general sense. Did they grow crops?" Drew asked Cilan as the cricket comes silently back on.

For a second or two, Cilan just looked at Drew and then he turned back to the TV.

"Olives." Cilan said, in a tone that's creeping towards surly and with his eyes fixed on the muted screen.

"Really? I would have thought it would have been too humid." Drew pointed out.

"The olives didn't do so well. Except for the local kind, which is small and you would not like and never get here. Corn." Cilan said hastily.

"I'm sure there would have been corn. And coffee and sugar." Drew said.

"Yes, both of them. And tea." Cilan continued.

"Tea? Really? I wouldn't have thought -" Drew started but was interrupted by Cilan.

"Not so much tea. The tea was new and it didn't do so well. Same guy as with the olives. Brave but a bit stupid. We never liked him anyway. Idiot." Cilan glanced Gardiena's way. She made no move to turn the sound back on.

There was a knock on the door, as Drew and Soledad had planned.

"Probably Soledad!" Gardiena said, not because she knew the plan but because anyone coming from outside the building would have to use the intercom downstairs.

Gardiena opened the door, and Soledad was holding two jars, each with a handwritten label stuck on it and a piece of bright checked fabric fitted over the lid.

Soledad looked over Gardiena's shoulder. "Oh, hello, Cilan, you're here too. How nice. I've been making soup! With the spices from the trees downstairs! I know they're only simple, but they come nicely in a soup!" Soledad said, glancing at Drew. Drew gave her the smallest nod he could manage.

Soledad handed a jar over to Gardiena, who fussed over it, read the label aloud and took a good look at the jar.

"And I thought I'd bring one for Cilan as well! I'm sure he can use some soup at his place!" Soledad said.

Cilan looked trapped, and then tried not to looked trapped. He glanced at Drew as if there might be some conspiracy going on, which there is. Cilan stood up and put on a smile.

"Oh, very good. Thank you, you are very kind." Cilan said, putting down his empty stubbie. He took two steps towards Soledad, wiping the last of the condensation from his hands.

"It's nothing. Only a bit of soup!" Soledad said, holding out the jar.

Cilan took the jar from her and held it with both hands. "No, very kind. If I can repay…"

Cilan let it hang there with no intent to repay. It was meant as a reworded thank you, one of those offers that slip through a conversation unspent. Not this time, no.

"Oh, well, thank you! That's very nice of you! I was just thinking this afternoon how lovely it would be to try some Kanto food again! I had a very special holiday in your part of the world." Soledad said, as if pleasantly surprised. The smile on Cilan's face, however, wired itself to tight grin.

"Oh!" Cilan said, blinking, handling the jar as if it was suddenly too hot to hold.

"Yes, some lovely memories." Soledad said with a vaguely threatening sense of calm.

Gardiena put her hand on Soledad's arm, looked at Cilan and nodded. "Oh, yes, yes, that would be great. We would all like that! I'm sure Cilan would be happy to!" Gardiena said, still nodding rapidly with a huge grin on her face.

"Happy to. Happy to, yes." Cilan said sternly, and then forced a smile.

"Let's do it soon! Oh, I want to do it already and I don't know what food it will be! Friday? How about Friday? The day after tomorrow? How's everyone placed?" Gardiena asked.

Cilan gripped the jar like a man caught in a tidal surge. There's nothing he could do.

As soon as Soledad left, Cilan tried to squirm his way out of it.

"Gardiena, this is not so good for me. I'm a very private person." Cilan said as Drew was loading the dishwasher. There was a pleading edge to it, but the deal had already been made.

"Oh, it's just the four of us! And anyways, you know Soledad. And she likes the food, clearly. I think it's really nice that she thinks of you when making soup! She _includes _you!" Gardiena said in the breezy voice you use with a little kid.

"Yes, very nice, but-" Cilan protested.

"Cilan, her boyfriend died straight after the trip. That is why it is so special!"

Drew clicked the dishwasher door shut, pushed the button for a regular cycle and stood up. Cilan had his jar under one arm. Cilan sighed.

"Please, another beer. I am sad with this. I am tricked into cooking for this soup thing." Cilan said accusingly towards Drew, and looked at Gardiena like a puppy wrongly scolded.

"Light or full-strength?" Gardiena laughed.

Cilan held on for a second or two, but then his look got the edge of a smile to it, and Gardiena pecked his cheek.

You know me, Gardiena. I'm a full-strength man." Cilan said.

It was the ideal time for Drew to go to his room and work on the Tandem-Story. The cricket was petering out and the love-talk was ramping up.

Drew shut his room door and stared at May's paragraph. The story opening sat there, offering nothing. Drew took a look at his notes, and then at May's paragraph. Drew was so embarrassed for her. She was so glum today. But still…those eyes…they still shone beautifully like precious sapphires glowing and… WAIT! STOP THINKING ABOUT THOSE GORGEOUS EYES! Wait, not gorgeous eyes. Just eyes. That's right. Eyes.

Drew finally managed to type up his paragraph and email.

_May, _

_Um, thanks for this. Killer opening. So glad we have put the demon Tuesday behind us for this week…My paragraph 2 follows. _

_Drew_

_Paragraph 2…_

_Far above, Max 'Mad Eyes' Eislander, armed to the teeth, plummeted straight as a lance through the pre-dawn sky to earth. Ever since he'd shot his way out of the North Hoenn torture chamber and crossed the border in the wild forest south of Petalburg City, there had only been one motive keeping him alive. Revenge. Revenge would be his today, bloody revenge. Ten thousand feet below…nine thousand…it was as if not a damn thing was happening in this world. As the wind screamed past his facemask and tugged at the HK XM-8 experimental assault rifle strapped to his back, Eislander knew that was about to change. _

**And, that is the end! I have decided to end every chapter with part of the tandem-story….except for the last few ones or something like that!**

**Sorry, Lex! I know I kept you up until 2am or something! We just love PMing each other or something! Are you asleep yet, woman? Get some rest! We PM enough today! SLEEP! **

**I know, I know, bot too much Contestshipping, but on the brighter side, DREW KEEPS THINKING OF MAY! I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN! **

**Happy Contestshipping Day!**


	4. Chapter 4: Hair-bursh vs Parachute!

**Here is the next chapter! Oh, and just to clarify, I kept Lex up until 2:30am, not 2am. Happy, Lex? JOKES! Boy, we went around in **_**Decagons **_**while I was typing this up, eh? **

**StrawberriiSuzu, you definitely kept me going to type up this story with all those smilies! :D XD XP :P O.O **** X) **

**School is has started so I apologize if I start to update late and the chapters seem horribly rushed. I really am sorry! It's just that Semester 2 is usually the busy week, and yeah… Any improvements needed, please tell me. I am happy to take advice. I don't really mind criticism, but try not to take it too harshly, and don't base it on opinion. You know what I mean?**

**I mean like…Don't criticise this story just because you either hate me or you hate Contestshipping, criticise things like my writing if I write terribly etc. You get it? Do you? Do you?**

**On an even happier note, I already have 3 favouriters and 10 followers! May not seem like much, but I honestly feel so accomplished if I compare it to Special Signs! YAY! Oh, and for Wednesday, I need everyone to cheer for the Blues for the third State of Origin! Please! It cannot be 8 years in a row! We must win! **

**Anyways, here is another chapter. Oh, and for those who forgot, Norman is May's dad, Caroline is her mum and Max is the brother!**

**At David Jones, Thursday, with May. **

There were only so many times you could dust a handbag display before you start to go a tiny, little bit mental. Especially when there was no dust to begin with! But the rules were when there were no customers around, and you were at the handbag side of the shop, the only thing you could do was make the handbags neat and tidy.

For May, tonight had been worse than usual. Tonight, it has been so quiet that Dawn – the other worker – got sent to help over in the shoe section. So with no customers to serve, and no Dawn to talk to, the past hour had gone super slow.

Plus, everything was neat. Tidy. Dust-free. But May had to continue faux-dusting and faux-cleaning until her shift was over, at 9PM.

It was not until May was on her 15 minute tea-break that May got a chance to properly work on her next paragraph for the tandem-story. It was good to finally have a clear head. Disgusting as it was, May had to say that the nasal spray did the job.

When May checked her email in the morning, there was the usual batch of unfunny forwards and the requisite chain letter from Dawn, an email from Drew Haydens, and two emails from Leaf. May felt her heart skip a beat as she noticed Drew's email. He emailed her? She felt her face heat-up but then it hit her like that. It must have been the tandem-story.

May opened Drew's email and initially thought his paragraph was meant as a joke. But as May sat there, May realised he was entirely serious. Drew had responded to May's opening paragraph complete and utter boy's-own-adventure-style crap.

May was shocked. Understanding that Drew wouldn't want to write a female character, May deliberately introduced Christopher. Drew could have taken Christopher anywhere, but he just disregarded him. Disregarded that entire opening paragraph for some Mad Max character who parachutes with a knife between his teeth and a gun strapped to his back. And, hello, only a total dickhead would parachute with a knife between his teeth.

This meant WAR.

May decided that she would type up her third paragraph when she got home. It was the best option if she wanted to reload her weapons for the next battle.

When May walked in to her house, she found her Dad – shirt sleeves rolled up and tie loosened – sitting at the kitchen table drinking a glass of red wine in the dark. The only light in the house was the one May had just turned on in the hall. Norman's eyes were underlined with dark clouds and his unshaven face and messed-up hair must have belonged to someone else. Not Norman – the upbeat, wise-cracking Doctor everyone adored.

"Ah, May…" Norman sighed, running his right hand through his hair before draining the last of the wine into his mouth.

"Why are you sitting in the dark?" May asked. She flicked the light switch on, which betrayed the scene around Norman. The unstacked, unwashed dinner plates. The discarded serviettes. The wine-in-a-cask thing he seems to have going on. The Tina Turner background music that May had only just noticed.

"Geez, has Mum seen this mess?" May said, looking at the kitchen.

May didn't wait for Norman to answer. Instead she was heading for the fridge in the naïve hope that maybe there would be some leftovers from tonight's dinner. A serving of roast or spaghetti bolognaise that Caroline might have cling-wrapped for May, knowing that May would be hungry when she got home.

"Goodness gracious me, don't tell me you didn't leave me anything. I'm absolutely starving!" May said over her shoulder.

"Your Mum left beef stroganoff for us all. Your serve is in the back, behind the sausages." Norman sighed.

May immediately spotted the blue Tupperware container, but she continued pushing jars and containers around on the hunt for more goodies. "I thought Mum said she was going to get me some low-fat Frûche thingies this week. Leaf has been having them at school and they are totally-" May started.

"May, sit down. I need to talk to you." Norman interrupted.

"Dad, I just walked in from work. Can't I please just have something to eat?" May groaned.

"I don't know how else to say this… Your mother's gone." Norman said while May was still busy inspecting the fridge.

May turned and stared open-mouthed at her dad.

"I'm so, so sorry. She moved out. Permanently." Norman said, looking down at his feet.

At first May was silent and she just stood there, one hand leaning on the open fridge door, the other hand holding a chunk of sausage, staring at her father as though she may have misheard. Caroline left them. But that didn't make sense. They ignore each other for a while, sure. Occasionally they sleep in separate bedrooms. But she doesn't leave properly. Seriously. That's not what she does.

"This is because of the police station thing. You kicked her out. You kicked her out because she lost her license. She wasn't even drunk, Dad! Not really. Ok? I was there. I was the one who was there to pick her up. It was a miscalculation, that's all. She was hardly…" May said, pointing at her Dad with a sausage.

"May. May. I didn't kick her out. This isn't about the police-station situation. Sometimes relationships just don't work. No matter how hard you try." Norman said. He was standing up, his hands out in a quietening gesture. He took a step towards May. May took a step backwards.

"But you haven't tried! There's just you asking why we had to eat tuna savoury so often, and her complaining that you're never here. I don't call that trying." May accused.

"Well, your mum feels that she needs a break." Norman's voice sounded strangled. May watched as he loosened his already loose tie and wiped sweat off his forehead.

"What does that mean?"

"May, I – I don't know. I don't have the answers."

"Well, it's shitty."

"Yes, it is. It's shitty." Norman said, nodding his head.

For a moment they both stood there in silence.

"You've had fights before. You always get over it. Remember last year? She went to Aunty Lillian's. Well, maybe you just need to go over there. Take her to a movie. She always wanted to go to Gold Class and you…" May said hopefully.

"This time it's different. She's not at Aunty Lillian's." Norman said as he shook his head.

Norman walked up to the kitchen bench and slid a piece of paper towards May.

May stared at the note. Flicked it open with one finger. It was in her Mum's handwriting. A phone number and address. So Caroline actually stood in that kitchen and wrote out those details. And then packed her bags. And then left.

"She wants you to call her." Norman stated.

May stared at the note; her mind went forwards and back and forward and back – trying to comprehend what she was being told. What does she mean she needs a break?

"You don't get to have breaks. You're not meant to have break. There are no breaks. And what? She was so desperate to get away from us that she couldn't even wait for me to get home from work?" May was not sure who she was saying this to. She looked at her Dad, but he just stared back at her.

May crumpled the note in her hand and threw it to the floor.

"She loves you very much. And the last thing we want is for this to impact your school work. Year 11 is a big year and…" Norman pointed out.

"I'm in year 12, Dad." May said the words through gritted teeth and looked at her Dad with loathing.

"Oh no, right, right. No, I knew that. I'm just…" Norman looked at May with apologetic eyes. But it was too late.

"Whatever." May turned her back on her Dad and started to walk out of the kitchen.

"We both want you to know – it's important that you know – that this isn't about you and Max." Norman said.

It was the mention of Max's name that made May stop in her tracks and turn back around.

"He is staying the night next door. We have to find a way to tell him." Norman said in a weary tone as he ran his fingers through his hair.

May abandoned the beef stroganoff and headed for the safety and familiarity of her bedroom. As May walked through the door, the first thing she saw was her open laptop and Drew's paragraph still there, staring at her. It was the last thing she felt like doing, but it was May's turn and she didn't really have a choice but to type up her paragraph.

So, May sat down, reread Drew's ridiculous offering about a plummeting assailant who likes the taste of cutlery, and tried to get the story back on track.

_Elizabeth slipped out of bed, once again ignoring the pale-blue Versace silk robe and slippers that Christopher had bought for her as an anniversary gift last September in Paris. She sits at her dressing table, feeling the velvet cushion on her skin, and slowly caresses the antique fittings and solid gold handles. She stares at her reflection and begins to brush; pulling her mother's ivory-handled brush through her long auburn hair. One. She lifts the brush and pulls it through her hair again. Two. This time she feels resistance, a knot. She pulls harder. Three. Her eyes wander over to the photograph of him. Christopher. She is beginning to understand the appeal of living in a fantasy world. The appeal of his complete rejection of everything real and sane, instead choosing to immerse himself in a world where he was the hero and never failed to save the day. The only time she heard the name 'May Eyes' Eislander these days was during the monthly visits to the insane asylum before the staff had given him his tablets. _

**That is Tandem-Story paragraph 3! Tell me about WAR! Except, it seems that May's weapon is a hair-brush….Oops. My bad! Hair-brush versus parachute sounds cool, though! That's why I used the idea! **

**I know, this chapter is actually short, and I am really sorry! I will make the next one longer, or at least I will try! Thanks to all those reviewers, especially Champbybirth and eeveeluvr, because you two must literally be sick of me! Repeat, SICK! **

**Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review! And if necessary, please favourite/follow! REPEAT! IF NECESSARY! **

**Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5: Action!

**Ok, here is the next chapter!**

**I have been trying, quite desperately, to not follow the usual, stereotypical Contestshipping setting and character layout, but I guess my characters are way too OOC. Anyone else agrees, or is it just me? Eh? Eh? EH? **

**YAY! I GOT A NEW CONSTANT! Left-to-die, THANK YOU SOOOOO FREAKIN MUCH!**

**Yeah… Here is chapter 5, I think. You can probably guess, by the title of this chapter, that it has to do with… You know what? Never mind, because maybe not everyone knows what the title means! Heheheehe!**

**Oh, and Giant Green Uranus, sorry about the coincidental Elizabeth name! And if Kate gives birth to a girl, and names her Elizabeth, congratulations! Your name hasn't just been put into a Fanfic you're following, but is also going to be a name of our future royal! Oh, and the Elizabeth in my/May's part of the tandem-story is nothing as awesome compared to you! Her personality is completely different, but you could already guess that!**

…**But I just got the news that she actually gave birth to a boy… Oh well! **

**Sorry I was so late typing up this chapter, answering PMs Etc… I wasn't ignoring anyone! It was just that my house was under renovation and we had to move out for 8 days. Which meant no internet, and living in a squishy apartment for 8 days! I had to bloody share a room with my brother! So, although I managed to type up the chapter, I couldn't post it up. And, no, I wasn't giving anyone the silent treatment! Sorry if there was a misunderstanding!**

**With Drew, at his house. Friday. **

Drew sighed, once again. So, Elizabeth could count all the way up to three. So glad they're writing a story about a genius. About a hair brusher. There'd be a whole novel in that if they had the time.

Elizabeth brushed her hair.

Then nothing happened for a very long time.

Elizabeth brushed her hair again.

Then nothing happened for a much longer time, other than a bit of gazing and contemplation about, well, nothing.

Elizabeth brushed her hair again.

Then nothing happened in about a hundred years in that god-damn story, while the reader would get bored and die and the reader's children would get bored and die and dozens of wars would come and go and people could live on Mars if they wanted to and…

Elizabeth brushed her hair, and after about a thousand years of deep, deep penetrating, thoughts come up with a completely lame idea about drugs and a mental-health facility.

Drew bit his lip and smirked at his exaggerations.

Elizabeth could have contemplated that the whole night, her hair-brush rigid in her tiny claw-like hand. Imagine how long the paragraph would have been then! Was it cyan? No? Aquamarine? There was a whole breathy chapter in that, surely? Drew bet May knew all those colour names and she was barely holding it back, perhaps already drafting her paragraph 3 with the Versace shade quandary in mind.

But Drew took the moral high ground. He would let that play itself out, and consider it a gift in its own limp way, since it was the analysis they would be marked on and Drew will be analysing Elizabeth with both barrels, when the time comes.

**At school, during Extension English**

"Why do you keep looking at her in class?" Gary asked Drew afterwards, and Drew honestly hadn't thought he been.

"Because I cannot believe how this piece-of-shit story can come out of her, and I'm looking to see if there's some kind of clue." Drew told him, and Gary laughed.

"Not going so well?"

"Her character has spent all week brushing her hair and mine hasn't killed her yet. Other than those two narrative flaws, it's fine."

**That night, at Drew's house. **

"Atmosphere!" Gardiena said, and she never stopped moving. She wanted the night to be perfect.

Drew honestly wanted to medicate her.

When Soledad arrived, Gardiena squeezed lime, crushed ice and made cocktails for herself and Soledad. Soledad sat on a stool at the breakfast bar, and Drew and her watched Gardiena flitting. She didn't usually flit.

"Oh dear…" Soledad muttered quietly, and Drew knew what she meant.

Soledad and Drew's dinner to unmask Cilan had become some Kanto food bonding moment for Gardiena. Soledad was doing her bit, wearing as many Kanto accessories as she could. But it was the flitting that worried Soledad and Drew. That and the sense of occasion, which only Gardiena had in her grip. It was altogether too special.

Until Cilan arrived.

Gardiena unlocked the foyer door when Cilan buzzed the intercom, then Gardiena rushed into the kitchen to pour him a cocktail. Outside, the lift groaned, and there was a thump as Cilan pushed on the door to their flat. It swung open, and there Cilan was with some CDs tucked under his arm and two plastic Coles bags in his arms.

"Whoa… It's very…big for occasion." Cilan said, peering into the atmospheric semi-darkness.

"Kanto food! That's quite a big occasion! You've never cooked for us before!" Gardiena said perkily, and jumped him with a cocktail.

"That's… Wonderful. And lights down are good. Very good for this. A good feel. Very Kanto. Like my mother's kitchen where there was only one lamp." Cilan said, a tight, troubled smile stretching across his face. He looked at Soledad, then Drew.

"I'm sure you had some wonderful food when you were young! What are you cooking for us tonight?" Gardiena asked.

"It's surprise! Must be surprise. So you ladies, and young man, enjoy drinks and I will cook. Please, music." Cilan said, and handed Gardiena a CD.

With the music, the atmosphere was complete. So, everyone left the kitchen and onto the sofa, except Cilan, who was preparing his dinner.

"Mustn't look, mustn't look!" Cilan said. Though it was pointless in a kitchen which opened up to the lounge from two sides.

But Cilan knew Drew was looking. "I just _bring _it in this. It is good box, OK?" Cilan said to Drew with a shitty tone.

Gardiena was distracted from the music onto the conversation happening, and she turned to see Cilan with a cardboard box in his hand. He was facing mostly away from her, still intent on the instructions. From the look on Gardiena's face, it was as if Cilan had hefted a dead-dog onto the counter.

Cilan turned his back completely to the lounge. "Mustn't look!" He said again, and then coughed to cover the sound of cardboard ripping as he opened the box.

The pinky-orange atmospheric light illuminated the furrows on Gardiena's head. She then striked up a forced conversation with herself and Soledad.

**After the food was served. **

Cilan brought the food to the table. "Please, come." He gestured.

Everyone took their seats on the table. Gardiena searched her entire vocab for a word to describe the food she saw, and settled on 'lovely'. Her lack of conviction was clear.

Soledad scooped mince onto a taco shell, added some lettuce and tomato and a spoonful of salsa and took a bite. "Ah, yes. Kanto. What memories, vivid memories. Hmmm…" Soledad commented. Clearly, not any memories of food like Cilan's.

"My mother…was a terrible cook. Family disgrace. We all came away….very limited. It would be better not to speak of her again." Cilan said apologetically.

Drew waited, but Cilan said nothing more. So the inquisition began.

"What did all the other mothers cook? The experts in the village – what did they cook?" Drew asked Cilan.

"Beans, many things with beans. We smell the smells. Beautiful smells. But we don't eat. There was…politics. And then the war. And things with corn. And ones like a pancake." Cilan said uncomfortably, as though wrestling with the lie so that it is still long enough to tell it.

"What about for special occasions?" Drew continued asking.

"For birthdays, we did not have cake. A potato." Cilan glared at Drew, then blinked and pretended to be thoughtful.

"A potato?"

"The word is different in Kanto. It is more festive. More wine, Gardiena? Anything you need?" Cilan said, turning to Gardiena.

"I'm fine, thanks." Gardiena said. She had been watching the exchange, and the last of her hope was draining away from her voice.

There was silence. Time to go for the kill, Drew thought.

"So, um…Ecuas. It means sauce, but yet is also a dance style. How is that? Drew asked.

"The dance…The dance is about how the woman…she makes the sauce. And the man…he likes it…" Cilan said, and then pretended to drift off into memory while he battled with his next piece of fakery.

"Right. You're not from Kanto at all, are you?"

There was a tight, ugly silence for a moment. "Tiaw! Erehw si eht tsop eciffo, esaelp!" Cilan said angrily. It was almost a snarl!

A spark of guilt hit Drew in the stomach. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he had got it all wrong. His evil plan had backfired. After all, if Cilan wasn't from Kanto, how would he be able to be in the Kanto language that fluently and frenzied? But Gardiena didn't buy it.

"Cilan, what you have just said is Kanto for _'Where is the post office, please.'_" Gardiena said in a flat, lifeless voice.

As for Cilan, it all un-ravelled from there. The trap had snagged its faux-Kanto prey and Gardiena swept in and did the rest.

"I think we've got some dishes to do." Soledad hinted to Drew, dragging her chair back from the table.

Gardiena and Cilan went out onto the balcony. They were still there when the dishes were done and even when Soledad left. Drew was standing in the mood-lit living room, watching an argument play itself out on the other side of plate glass. That was enough for Drew.

Drew went into his room, sat at the keyboard, stared at the screen. It was a long time before he could read May's email properly. Elizabeth. The hair-brushing. Drew started to draft something, but it didn't go too far. Although it was the night's job, Drew was sure that he could just send it the next morning.

The balcony door slid open. Drew heard it. The front door opened, and then shut. Something clattered in the bin. Cilan was gone.

In the morning, Drew went over to May's email as soon as he woke up. He stared at it. He picked it apart. He looked for a way in, anything. He was going to have to help her out. That story needed something good, some real quality.

And that was why Drew was there. Drew's email:

_Hey May, _

'_Insane asylum' – among the great narrative options, that'd be one step short of 'and then she woke up', right? Or is that what you're planning next episode as we push the tandem-story envelope?_

_Cool nude-hair brushing scene, by the way. I assume it's her butt that the pillow's caressing? She's a thoughtful one, isn't she? Shame about the hair knot. That could wreck a person's whole day. _

_My paragraph follows. I trust you will find it helpful._

_Drew._

_There is a difference between disguise and illusion, between delusion and deep cover, Eislander told himself as he plummeted downwards, stroking the HK MP5 SD silenced submachine gun strapped across his chest. Oh, yes, they'd put him away, but that was all part of the plan. He'd busted out of worse. He'd killed armed guards with his bare hands, driven an icicle through a man's heart. He could feel the cold of the gunmetal through his gloves. He told himself he could squeeze 800 rounds per minute from this baby, easy, and his eyes took on the glint that had given him his name and that only the dead had seen – yellowed eyes with dark slitted pupils, a panther's eyes, the eyes of a trained assassin about to strike. Max 'Mad Eyes' Eislander was ready to kill again. The time had come to settle this. Once, and for all. _

**OK! This took me a while to type! *headdesks* OMGGM, if I thought my last chapter was short, look how short this bloody chapter is! It is way shorter! Sucks…. Sorry for the shortness!**

**Yes, I know…I exaggerated Drew's thoughts and insults on May's paragraph a bit too far! But you get it, Drew was pissed with it. **

**And the Cilan and Gardiena thing… Poor Gardiena…She was lied to! Because of me! Waaah! **

**This chapter was a bit boring, but I have planned the next chapter, and so far, it is looking alright! Well, it is looking hilarious in my opinion! And…Drew and May actually physically get to talk to each other in the next one! I can't wait to finish typing it up!**

**Thanks for reading, and please, please, please, please, PLEASE REVIEW!**


	6. Chapter 6: A Visit to Mum!

**Thank you so much for all the reviews! Psychotic Ralts, Eeveelover123, and malory79080, welcome to the 'Amaze Me' Contestshipping ship! It's good to be back at my own house, where I have internet and can type on my laptop without being interrupted by Cody, because we were sharing a room together. Me and Cody in a room together for 10 days! Can you believe that? But…I survived. Don't know how…but I did! :D**

**Next Chapter follows…**

**Saturday morning, with May. **

For the second time, Drew Haydens' email to May had been dripping with sarcasm. And the guy's an idiot. May cannot believe Drew actually wrote '_…his eyes took on the glint that had given him his name and that only the dead had seen'_. If only people he was about to murder ever saw his _'mad eyes', _then they're not exactly capable of going around giving him a freakin nickname, are they? THEY'RE DEAD, Dickhead. Hello?

May couldn't believe she liked Drew. Well, not _liked _him liked him. Just sort of liked him. At first, when he was with Leaf, May was a little bit envious. Drew was funny and cool and always made a point of including May in conversations and stuff, which is not something you could say about everyone's boyfriend.

The point was that Drew was never like a boyfriend who only paid attention to the girlfriend. He was one of them. Part of their tribe. Even if he did bring Gary along with him. But then May caught him with another girl at some mall. Cheating on Leaf. And May realised he was a bastard after all. Pretending he was one of the good guys when he wasn't. No wonder Drew was so comfortable about writing about delusions. He's the master.

May looked back at Drew's paragraph. Trust him to get off thinking Elizabeth was naked in that scene. She wasn't naked! In May's imagination, she was wearing silk PJ shorts. She could feel the velvet on the back of her thighs. Shit, Drew was such a perv.

May looked at her clock. She had to be at work in a few hours. But she had no urge to go near her work. She felt defeated and lost.

May walked past the lounge room where Max was watching _Video Hits._ He was so close to the TV that May wouldn't blame Kylie Minogue if she took out a restraining eye order. Max was slumped on a red bean-bag, picking pineapple off a piece of rather limp pizza, a one-litre bottle of coke by his side and a greasy pizza carton beside his feet.

"Hey! Don't tell me you're having that for breakfast?" May said, walking over to her brother, but he continued watching TV. May kicked the pizza carton with her foot.

"Whatever, Trevor." Max said, blinking up at May.

"You can have all this for lunch. You shouldn't be eating this shit for breakfast. How much of Coke have you had? And yuck – this stuff is flat. You should be having cereal. Mum would never let you have this stuff. She would freak." May rolled her eyes at Max and reached down to knock the pizza away from him. She approached the coke while she was at it.

"But there was no milk left!" Max whined.

Well then, I'll make you some to-oast." May said, pretending to whine back at him.

Max scowled.

"Plain margarine toast." May said, as though it was some sort of peace offering.

"Nutella?" Max looked up at May hopefully.

"Of course, what was I thinking? You would naturally be wanting desert toast. Fine, Nutella. But just this once." May tickled Max in the ribs with her toes and then walked towards the kitchen. May got a shock when she saw the digital numbers on the microwave clock.

"Hang on Max, shouldn't you be at soccer? Shit, it starts in like 20 minutes! Get your uniform on, Max, and you can eat the toast in the car. Where's Dad? DAD?" May freaked.

"I'm not going to soccer today. I just want to stay here with you." Max said.

"Max, I've got to go to work today and I think you should go to soccer practise." May walked back into the lounge and kneeled down on the carpet, resting her hands on the red corduroy of the beanbag.

"Yeah, but I don't want to!" May said, in his stern little voice, staring at the TV screen ahead.

"I know, but you know what? I think it's really important right now for us to keep doing our normal stuff. Stick to routines. You know? Do what we always do. And I bet you'll go to soccer today and you'll have a great time and you'll see all your friends!" May said. Max casted her a sideways glance, a glance full of suspicion.

"I want Mum to take me." Max said, looking straight at May.

"I know you do." May sighed.

It took May a promise to help Max build a new backyard bike ramp just to get him to agree to change into his soccer equipment. All May had to do was to locate her Dad. May eventually found him, dressed in yesterday's track pants and a faded T-Shirt, asleep in bed.

"Dad! It's 8:10! Max is meant to be at soccer!" May jabbed Norman's shoulder.

Receiving no response, May jabbed him again. Norman made a weary groan and half-opened his right eye in a way that told May he was having trouble focusing and dealing with the sunlight.

"MAX HAS SOCCER!" May said the words as loud and slow as though her father was not only asleep, but was also partly deaf and not overly familiar with English.

Norman winked at May, opened his other eye, blinked and then, as if it was all too much for him, his eyelids shut up shop.

"YOU NEED TO TAKE MAX TO SOCCER PRACTISE!" May leaned over and pulled back one of her father's eyelids.

But May's father, the man who never slept past 6, even on weekends, simply groaned and shrugged May off, rolled over and turned his back on her. May heard him mumble something about letting Max stay home if he wanted. The room smelt sad and stale. It looked as if Caroline had never been there.

May retreated and didn't say anything. She just quickly grabbed the car-keys and headed out.

**In the car, with May and Max. **

May's eyes flickered up to the rear-vision mirror. Max was sitting at the backseat, Nutella toast in his hands. But he was quiet- which wasn't usually like him. For once, May would give anything to hear his usual insane chatter.

**After they arrived at the Soccer field. **

"I'm late. They've already started." Max whispered.

"I know, but we're only a few minuted late. So it'll be fine. Now all I need to do is organise for one of the other parents to drive you home, OK? Because I'm going to work. So you're going to take a lift home with…hopefully Falkner! I'll sort it out before I head off." May said, reaching out and touching Mac's grazed knee. She scanned the crowd for any vaguely familiar faces.

"Whatever, Trevor." Max said looking at May solemn faced.

May turned to see Falkner's mum, Mrs Violet.

"Hey May, Max said he needs a lift home. We're fine to drop him off! Do you want me to drop him home?" Mrs Violet smiled, and all May could think was what parents were supposed to look like. They're supposed to be at their son's soccer practise doing the crossword, looking daggy in high-waisted jeans. Not hung-over. Or in a holding cell in the police station. May really felt like she had Britney Spears and K-Fed for parents. Except even they don't have the police station as part of their story.

"May?" Mrs Violet looked concerned as though May might actually have been mildly acoustic.

"Sorry, yeah, thanks! That'd be great if you could! I'd…we'd appreciate it!" May turned to leave.

"So where's Caroline this morning? Is she here?"

"Um, no. She's got a migraine. She'll probably be in bed all day." May lied and turned around again.

"Well, you tell her I hope she gets better soon." Mrs Violet smiled once again.

"I will thanks." May half-smiled back, and then speed-walked to the car praying that Max remembered to stick to the migraine story that they had practised in the car. Then, secure in the knowledge that she was away from Max and Mrs Violet and Caroline and Norman and everyone else, May leaned on the steering wheel and cried.

May dropped the car back at her house and decided to walk to work. Just as she was about 10 metres away from David Jones, May noticed a phone box. She decided that she wouldn't go to work, because she really wanted to speak to her Mum.

Within seconds, May was calling David Jones from the public phone box, desperately hoping that nobody, especially the workers; from inside the building would see May through the see-through glass which lied between David Jones and the phone box.

But nobody saw her. And Glacia, the second in command who took May's call, didn't even seem to remember who May was, let alone seem suspicious about the traffic sounds that must have been in the background.

May stood in the box, a little shocked how easy it all was, and peered out through the glass at her workplace just 6 metres away.

May pushed her way out through the glass door, headed down to the train station, telling herself not to risk one last glance back at David Jones.

And that was when she walked straight into Drew Haydens and Gary Oak.

"What are _you _doing here?" Gary practically spits the words at May. Holy shit, this was the last thing May needed.

"Yeah, hi." May said. She looked around, worried that Glacia – anyone inside – was going to see her.

"Are you working today?" Drew asked, and it was a totally reasonable question.

"Ah, um, no." May glanced over Drew's shoulder through the main doors, praying that Glacia wouldn't turn around.

"So why are you dressed in your David Jones uniform?" Drew nodded at May's outfit.

"I was supposed to be working, but I actually have to go and visit my Mum."

Drew's forehead crinkled and May just realised what she had said. Why would she have to visit her Mum? Where is she that she needs visiting? Why isn't she at home, with May's Dad, like she was supposed to be? This was what Drew and Gary were thinking. May could tell. And she didn't want either of them knowing that her Mum had left her family. May didn't want either of them to know about her family.

"You see, I have to visit her because she's, um…in hospital. And I have to go and see her." May's head flipped around as she told the lie.

"What's wrong with her?"

May turned and stared at Gary. Holy shit, she hated Gary.

"What is wrong with her? Well, she…"

"Is it serious?" Drew asked.

"Well…" May looked from Drew to Gary and back to Drew and looked over their shoulders, still praying that Glacia wouldn't turn around. And May's mind was completely blank on why her Mum would be in hospital. Why so blank? Because she isn't in hospital!

"Coma. She's in a coma." May finally said.

"Your Mum is in coma?" Drew narrowed his eyes. May shifted from one foot to another and nodded in agreement.

In David Jones, Glacia had stopped berating someone. Glacia was satisfied and she was turning around to face the glass doors. She was practically staring at right at May. SHIT! May moved a little to the left in an attempt to hide behind Drew and Gary. She bent her knees a bit too.

"So, is she, you know, OK, your Mum?" Drew asked.

"Ah, yeah. Yep, she's fine…It's all good." May said, making sure that Gary's head was blocking Glacia's view of May.

"All good, except, maybe, for the coma part." Drew said with a hint of suspicion in his voice.

"Right, well, the coma is only sometimes. She's usually better than that. Drowsy and… It's appendicitis mainly." May continued lying.

"Right." Drew said.

"I've got to go!" May said loudly, but still crouching a little. May turned her back to the boys and headed down to the train-station.

It felt wrong that, in order to see her Mum, May had to be 'buzzed in' to some apartments. May sighed. Her Mum was no longer just around. In the kitchen. Out at the washing line. No longer within hollering distance. Now if May wanted to visit her, she had to catch a train to the neighbouring city and be 'buzzed in.'

When Caroline answered the door, she took May by surprise. Partly because her hair was down and in it's rarely seen, naturally wavy state. Partly because for one of the first times in her life, she wasn't wearing makeup. But mostly because she answered the door practically nude.

"Holy shit!" May gasped as her Mum answered the door.

"Sweetheart!" Caroline burst, her face splitting into a cut-watermelon grin. Caroline's arms reached out to May from beneath the drapey sleeves of her familiar read and blue silk dressing gown. A gown that at home looked unremarkable, but there, gaping open and revealing most of Caroline's right breast, the same gown looked strangely lurid.

"I'm so glad to see you!" Caroline said. She moved in to give May a hug, but May immediately took a step back.

"Your robe is…Holy shit, open! Shit!" May gestured at Caroline while keeping her gaze at eye-level.

"That's the beauty of living alone, May! You can walk around naked, if you want. What do you think of that?" Caroline said. She smiled, not the least bit embarrassed, re-tied the belt of her robe, smoothed out her hair and turned on her heel.

"I think my eyes are bleeding." May said, as she followed her Mum into the apartment.

"The human body is a wonderful thing! Nothing to be ashamed of! I'm so glad you're here, I missed you!" Caroline said, rolling her eyes and linking her arms with May's.

"Sit, sit! I've got some Tim Tams, want some? Yes? And are you thirsty?" Caroline said. She manoeuvred May like a bouncer towards the cane lounge.

"I don't know. I suppose." May shrugged. But she didn't sit down. Wouldn't. May wondered around the room, and preventing herself from getting comfortable. Out of the corner of her eye, May watched as Caroline fluttered around her kitchen, too familiar with her surroundings. May felt an ache as she realised how relaxed her Mum was. She was not supposed to be like that. She was supposed to miserable. Like Norman.

Minutes later Caroline brought over the biscuits, carefully arranged onto a white dinner plate, and a glass of apple juice for them both. Caroline had put a frangipani behind her left year. May perched on the edge of the lounge and Caroline perched next to her. May's eyes glanced down to see her Mum's right boob making a curtain call.

"Hey, Booby McBooberson, could you just, you know, get changed? I can't just sit here and drink apple juice with one of your breasts staring straight at me." May pointed out.

"Oh, haha, yes, of course. I was actually just about to have a shower." Caroline's laugh was nervous, and her hands fumbled with the silky belt and then moved to her throat. May watched as she slipped away into some room, perhaps her own.

"You know Max's practically chain-eating chocolate biscuits. He's turning into that fat kid from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." May called out. Even May could hear that her own voice sounded accusing.

"He looked fine when I saw him yesterday after school!" Caroline called back. May forgot her Mum saw Max yesterday.

"Well, don't let looks fool you – it's a slippery slope to obesity! One more packet of Tim Tams and Nurse Joy will be calling you Max's _enabler_." May countered.

Caroline appeared around the corner, a smile on her face. She was dressed in a purple silk sarong decorated with green and red swirls. It was wrapped around her cheat and then knotted – halter-neck style – around her neck. May thought that asking her to get changed would make her Mum look normal, but it didn't. Caroline didn't look normal. She took a seat.

"This thing between you and Dad is affecting Max. You know what he did in class yesterday, don't you? You know what his teacher told me? They were singing _the wheels on the bus_ and she asked Max for a suggestion for lyrics – you know, like _'the wipers on the bus go swish' – _and you know what Max said? He suggested vaginas. _'Vaginas on the bus go la la la.'_ And before their teacher could do anything, all the other kids ran with it!" May exclaimed.

"Come on, May! That's pretty funny! I suppose he hears this because of your Dad's job. And they were only going _'la', _after all. Not that I've even known one to do that. I'm sure Max's teacher thought that was funny!" Caroline laughed. She laughed at Max's vagina lyrics.

"Yeah, sure. I'm sure she was cracking up when she _called family services!_ Yesterday I asked him to set the table and he told me to shut my cakehole! This split is affecting him. He needs you at home."

"And what about you, May? What do you need?" Caroline put down her apple juice and leaned down towards May. She looked at May. May looked away.

"May?" Caroline repeated.

"I couldn't care less where you live." May lied. Even out of the corner of her eye, she could see her Mum's face fall.

"Well, OK. I…um, need some ice for my drink." Caroline said as she flicked her fringe away from her eyes.

For some reason, May couldn't bring herself to tell her Mum how desperately she wanted her back. May didn't know why. It was like the evil May wanted to see how badly she could hurt her Mum's feelings – the way she hurt May's feelings by leaving.

"I have a spare room and everything, with two beds. For the two of you, whenever you want to stay. I went out and bought all the latest magazines that I know you love reading and I put a stereo in there and there's heaps of closet space so I thought that you could even leave a few clothes here. Now, this place isn't air conditioned, but when I signed the lease, the real-estate agent said the owner was planning to put it in…" Caroline suggested, sliding an ice-tray back into the fridge.

May's heart froze. Lease?

"Max shouldn't have to get a train go see his Mum. He's only 5. You should be at home. With us. With Dad. You don't even look like you're trying to work this out!" May interrupted.

"May, believe me, I tried."

"Dad's not coping. He keeps listening to Tina Turner and keeps plays 'Private Dancer'. And he's drinking all the time. He drank my graduation champagne."

"You Dad rang my mobile phone eighteen times last night." Caroline said, nodding and leaning against the kitchen door-frame.

"Was it that bad, living with us? Are we that horrible?" Despite her efforts, May's eyes filled with tears.

"Of course not!" Caroline pounced, rushing towards May, "May, you need to understand that Dad and I haven't been happy for a long time. Work and kids changed our relationship. All the spontaneity is gone. All we ever do is fight about money. There are too many night where we have nothing to say to each other. And Dad's long nights were never part of the deal! I gave up university to have you. I have so many unfulfilled dreams, but that was all before I married your Dad. And now my life is all about lunch-boxes and soccer practise!" Caroline explained, taking a deep breath before she continued.

"I need to get to know myself again, May. My likes and dislikes. Who I am underneath the labels of a wife and mother. I'm looking for a job, but also thinking about studying design again. I had plans to open my own interior-decoration business when I met your Dad, and before I knew it I was pregnant and final exams were-"

"I can't… I can't have this conversation with you. You're my Mum. I don't want to hear about you being unhappy and feeling like Max and I are the two biggest mistakes you made." May croaked, getting up from the couch.

"No! I didn't say that! Darling, I didn't mean it to sound…" Caroline protested, reaching out for May's hand.

But it was too late, May was walking out of the door of unit number eleven to the sound of her Mum's voice calling her back.

**When May arrived home**

When May arrived home, her Dad appeared around the corner.

"Did you go and see your Mum?" he asked.

May nodded and continued walking.

"How is she?"

"She signed a lease." May said and she kept walking, and didn't look back. Because they both knew what that meant. She wasn't coming back anytime soon.

May finally reached her room, and was reluctant to write her paragraph. Especially after seeing Drew near David Jones, where her Mum was told to be under coma/appendicitis and a whole bunch of medical issues.

May eventually gathered the will to type up her email and send:

_Drew, Drew, Drew, _

_If the only people who get to see Max's 'mad eyes' are his victims, explain to me how exactly they get to spread the nickname? Or do you envisage the victims are all whipping out mobiles and SMSing their mates as the icicle goes through their flesh, saying, 'I'm being iced to death by Max 'Mad Eyes' Eislander…pass it on.' _

_Would it kill you to try a bit harder, Drew? I've got enough on my plate right now without having to fix up your work. _

_May_

_A crashing wave of guilt hits Elizabeth as she stares at the black-and-white photograph of Christopher in her dressing-table. She walks down the hallway, smiles weakly at Anna who is heading towards the boudoir with the usual tray of Lady Grey tea accompanied by a section of breakfast delicacies. With just the merest nod of her head, Elizabeth indicates that Anna should set the tray for her in the drawing room. Elizabeth watches Anna's heel turn the corner and then picks up the heavy, gold receiver of the phone, dials the number and makes what will be the first of today's many calls to Dr Manning. There was a small incident last night, he says. When refused a second serving of custard, Christopher put on his Batman costume and then went into the music room and started playing Copacabana over and over and over on the old upright. Dr Manning explains delicately that they had no choice but to sedate him, place him in a straightjacket and then lead him back to his room – a safe, padded place, where Christopher can't hurt himself. Elizabeth sighs and says 'Not again…" She had never understood Christopher's love of custard. _

**Finally! I decent sized chapter! OK, at least I reckon it is decent compared to my other chapters. See? I told you I would make May and Drew meet, although not too much…**

**The custard bit, well, I was getting desperate for ideas! What else was I meant to do? Soccer? Christopher's love for soccer? Nope! Custard sounded WAY better! Or, at least that is what I think. Maybe not…What do you reviewers and readers think about the custard bit? **

**If there are any males who read this chapter, like Champbybirth, I AM SOOO SORRY! It must have been so awkward for you all to read, like, extremely awkward. Especially the bit where May saw her Mum and stuff…Sorry! I didn't know what else to do! Honestly!  
**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please review!**

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	7. Chapter 7: Guy Gossip!

**Ok, this came out a LITTLE late…Ok, maybe more than a little! Sorry! Anyways, many people have been predicted about the future chapters, and have given me inspiration and ideas of what I could write in it. That's the reason I am taking so long, trying to adjust and prefect my ideas…Not really working though, is it? **

**You would have noticed that the chapter name is 'Guy Gossip'. Now, why is this? Many of you must have heard the term 'Girl Gossip' or more commonly referred to as 'Girl Chat', so I thought to myself and wondered why guys don't have one! I mean, it's **_**just **_**a stereotype about girls being all chatty and are excellent a gossiping, but honestly I believe that there are guys out there that also gossip. Now, I know one guy who is a constant reviewer, and he knows who he is, and he has to tell me whether my interpretation of 'Guy Gossip' is true. **

**I decided to test my 'Guy Gossip' theory on Drew Haydens and Gary Oak! Hahaha…My beautiful, lovely, green-haired flicker, and flirtatious brunette torture toys…*insert evil laugh***

**Sorry for the awkwardness of the last chapter, I just couldn't get over that idea! And trust me, this story may seem depressing, but it will get funnier – like, no joke. If something goes terrible, it always gets better, right? So this will go from sad to funny, hopefully. **

**As for Drew, just saying, I figured he should be suspicious about May and her Mum in 'coma'. *cough* Drew would be suspicious because his parents are divorced so he may have some connection to what May is witnessing. Also, it didn't really make sense for May to be like 'coma' *cough* and then straight to *cough* appendicitis! So, that's why I decided that Drew would be suspicious. Anyways, here is chapter 7!**

**Sunday, at Drew's house – with Drew. **

Drew twitched his eye as he read May's paragraph. What the hell? The expression 'lost the plot' was suddenly meaningful to Drew in a way it had never been before.

Was there even such a thing as Lady Grey Tea? Drew thought it was Earl Grey Tea. What was next? Young Master Grey Tea? Ralph Grey Tea? Earl Grey's Crossbred Dachshund Tea? To be served in the boudoir with a selection of breakfast delicacies? Jesus Christ, can't people just have a piece of toast before the paragraph actually starts? Did they have to live through their poncy breakfasts? The Maple household at breakfast time must have been even worse than Drew imagined, all fine china with little fingers extended.

Except May's Mum was in 'hospital' at the moment, so maybe Drew should go easy on how they were handling breakfast. Or that's what Drew thought.

What had gotten into May? She must have read Drew's email before she saw him near David Jones and she didn't seem to have any issue with Drew then. After that she went home and Drew copped up that tirade and that un-follow-able piece-of-shit paragraph. But why should Drew be surprised? She was a mess near David Jones. She could hardly have been stranger. Her Mum was in coma, or just drowsy, or sick with appendicitis, and, as her story was ducking and weaving, May seemed to be manoeuvring as if she was setting up to head-butt Gary. And then she was gone. Maybe it was something much worse than she couldn't explain. Maybe her Mum was mad on custard, all superheroed up and tinkling the ivories in some locked ward across town.

**At the pool-side of Drew's apartment. (Drew and Gary) Gary in the pool, Drew outside the pool. **

"Your pH is up a touch. Who looks after your pool?" Gary said indignantly as soon as his head surfaced for the first time.

"How can you tell it's up? Drew asked curiously.

"It's a feeling thing. Trust me, it's up. Not by too much, though." Gary replied, like a jaded star who had been asked that question too many times.

Drew flung the old tennis ball at the water, and it skidded off and into Gary's left hand. He threw it back to Drew. Gary had been working with his Dad, servicing pools at other blocks of units in the area. His father was off doing some quotes.

"Your Mum, she isn't too good today." Gary said, as the ball slapped his hand again.

"No, it's a roller-coaster ride up there on the 6th floor. Well, it would be if there were some high bits." Drew replied.

"You had to do it, though. You know he was a fake, so you had to let her know." Gary said referring to Cilan's fakery scheme. He took a look at the ball and tried to smooth down some wet fluff.

"Well, yeah. But I kind of liked it. There was this evil moment of triumph. He had been irritating me for a while so –"

"You had to let her know." Gary repeated. He hurled the ball flat against the water, it bounced high, hit Drew's thumb and Drew missed the catch on the second grab.

"Yeah, I guess. I prefer life when Mum isn't feeling like shit, though." Drew stated.

"Sure. And this is all about your life, isn't it? Not really about her. I hope she's aware it's having this negative impact on you. So, how about May Maple yesterday at David Jones?" Gary laughed, but the splash of the ball in front of his face stopped him, or at least interrupted him. Gary's head snapped back instinctively but he caught the ball cleanly in front of his nose and the water settled.

"Yeah, what was that about? The vague answers, the weird ducking around making herself shorter…" Drew commented.

"I didn't get to say this at the time…Since I had to go. But I think she's hot for you, man. She went all blotchy, just seeing you. I think she knows you don't like tall chicks and she wants you bad. She'd shrink for you, or at least crouch a lot." Gary giggled and threw the ball hard. It skimmed the water and once again, Drew didn't catch it cleanly.

"I thought we were talking about my Mum, and my selfish outlook of life." Drew's throw went wrong, and the ball bounced high and slowly and plopped on the water beside Gary.

"We were. And we're agreed. You're selfish, and you think your Mum should snap out of it because she is bringing the mood down. And now we've moved on, and it's about May Maple. About May Maple wanting a big, hot slice of _the _Drew." Gary smirked.

"That's highly unlikely. That whole definite article thing – I'm not sure it's how anyone's thinking." Drew knew the topic needed to be squashed quickly. And he didn't know when he became _the _Drew.

"She was going all dreamy-eyes and dizzy…" Gary stated.

"She was neither of those, and you know it. She was strange and maybe even disturbed, and her Mum could actually be quite sick. The way May treats me… It's a veneer of politeness on top of a big slab of inexplicable hatred. That's the extent of our relationship." Drew responded. Or maybe she liked Drew. Surely not. That was all Gary's idea – May Maple dreamy-eyed and dizzy and the sight of _the _Drew. OK, Drew had to get over that pretty quickly, particularly the part that went _the _Drew.

"I bet she emailed you last night!" Gary gave Drew a knowing look, tossing the ball from hand to hand, and the water was spinning off it.

"She had to email me last night, dickhead, and you know it." Drew rolled his eyes, recalling the tandem-story email.

"She just loves riding the tandem with her Drew…"

"You're insane. And that 'tall chicks' thing is insane, too. I would take them any height. I'd stand on a box if I had to. But not for the deeply disturbed May Maple. Could be drugs, Gary. You have to watch these kids." Drew protested.

"Sure. And it is usually the ones you least expect. I'm tanked on calcium hypochlorite most of the time. Not that it offers me much as a chemical." Gary snickered.

What would it be like for Drew, being in the pool with May Maple instead of Gary and a raggy old ball? A hot summer weekend day, late afternoon, the sun settling behind the buildings, the air still full of heat and the smell of cut grass, no one else around…

"Hey, calcium hypochlorite kills bugs. It lets us all swim in safety and gives your skin that fresh, flaky complexion. Something is really messing with May Maple's brain, though. I mean, last night's tandem-story paragraph…" Drew drifted off.

"Yeah?" Gary curiously urged for more detail.

"Did I miss the bit where Birch said that last night's paragraph should include a superhero cape, and upright piano and a yearning for custard?"

"She's working you hard. That's some great team play, tossing you that. What are you going to do with it?" Gary laughed.

"I'm going to have to take her down. No more Mister-Nice-Guy."

"What do you think is happening with her Mum?" Gary asked.

"Thanks. Right. I'm being a bastard. Selfish when it comes to my own Mum, thoughtless when it comes to her Mum. That's what you're saying, isn't it? Her Mum's sick – she's distracted. She was weird yesterday. Her story is weirder because her mind is stuck on her Mum."

"Don't weaken. You're going to be nice when you email her back, aren't you? I can read it now, all sickly sweet…" Gary continued to mock.

"Shit, no. It's only appendicitis. Her Mum will be fine. And we've got to get this story back on track. No mercy, Gary, no mercy."

As soon as Gary left, Drew returned to his apartment, or more specifically, his room. Stabs continuously attacked Drew's mind, stabs revolving around May Maple. Drew went directly to his laptop, and decided to read the paragraph once again.

OK, so Drew was a little embarrassed about the slight logical error with the whole 'Mad Eyes' thing, but Drew had bigger story issues in mind and what gave May the right to be so picky? What was she thinking, writing a paragraph like that? She was standing in the way of the story, blocking Drew's progress. Drew finally gained the initiative to type up his email.

_Hello May, _

_Yes, thank you for that point about the 'Mad Eyes' name (clarified, see below). Thank you also for the gift of witless, un-fascinating Christopher and his penchant for custard. Superb. May I reciprocate with a character gift of my own? _

_Nice work with the tea, too. Let me know the instant another member of the Grey family comes up with a beverage of their own. Paragraph follows…_

_Drew_

_Max 'Mad Eyes' Eislander – only the dead had seen his eyes like that. Only the dead and Heinz 'Hands of Doom' Heckler – renegade, master of disguise and Eislander's nemesis. They had stood side by side in the secret service, taken on alliances together, but that had happened years ago. Eislander had been Kristof, and sometimes Christopher. But he had long since cast such masks aside. Heckler was damaged goods. He had turned to absinthe, had drowned his Mother's cat, named May, in a vat of custard – though that surely had been a good thing, since the creature was quite disturbed – and had gone away hallucinating. The things he said were vicious, and made no sense at all. There was trouble brewing, and Eislander had already been sent once to deal with it. For Eislander, Heckler was 'the one that got away'. But no more. The rush of the wind invigorated him, as did the firm pressure of a dozen thirty-round curved box magazines in his pockets. This was truly a day to kill. Heckler was out of control, worse than unpredictable, a warhead, a warhead with a timer set and running. And only Eislander could take him down. _

_PS – Not sure whether to go for 'masks' or 'masques', which perhaps could be more intriguing…await your thoughts, breath bated. _

_PPS – Is it possible that your part of the story might be seen as a little, or possibly extremely, dull? _

**Ok…I know, it isn't a long or decent sized chapter…Sorry! **

**As mentioned previously, I need feedback on the 'Guy Gossip' bit. MALES reading this chapter, could you please tell me whether my assumption of a MALE conversation was correct? Please, I must know so I can be prepared for future stories which include MALE conversations. Or, any FEMALES with knowledge and understanding of this topic, you can also tell me! I have a brother… But he isn't a reliable source of information, well he actually is, but I can't base this on ONE GUY. **

**You may have noticed some references from Drew's tandem paragraph. Drew mentioned that Heckler killed his own Mum's cat, which was named as MAY. Of course, Drew wanted revenge and thought he would do that to mock May and refer to her as being a dead cat. **

**Another thing mentioned would be 'The One That Got Away' by Katy Perry. It is a rather old song, but really good and catchy and rather meaningful. **

**Anyways, thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	8. Chapter 8: House 'Dad?

**OK! So, exam block is coming for me next week so I thought that I should type up this chapter and upload it before the exams overload me! Otherwise it would probably take another week for me to write this and…Yeah! **

**I would actually like to give a special mention to 'Ready to Fly', because even though he/she is a guest reviewer, I still really appreciate reviews! And it makes me even happier since he/she has put in the effort to review EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER! Thanks so much! **

**Um, for those who said they were rather confused with my story and why couldn't Drew and Leaf talk to each other: in my story, Leaf and Drew had been dating for a while and May thought she caught Drew cheating on someone else. That's basically it! But, don't worry… Drew and May will stay together forever! Leaf will not interrupt their relationship; in fact, I'll make sure she hardly interacts with Drew! **

**PH is a symbol representing the chemical in the pools. Also, thanks for the comments and opinions along with the reviews about guy gossiping. A got a variety of different opinions and I found it rather interesting to see! I go to an 'All Girls' School, but I have heaps of guy friends from other stuff. But…Still no guys in my school. What a depressing school life…For me. *sniff sniff***

**ANYWAYS, I talk too much. Oh, and it brings me the honour to say that the 50****th**** review goes to…*awkward drum-roll* Left-to-die! **

**Here is the next chapter! **

**Monday morning – with May in her bedroom. **

May woke up to the sound of clapping. May half-opened her eyes, squinted at the sunlight that was suddenly flooding into her bedroom, and realised that her Dad was standing at the foot of her bed. Her mind flashed with detail about the previous night, May had been searching around on websites on her Dad's laptop. Websites to support her dad and his 'physical and emotional' structure. She found I reliable website and marked it with the bright red flag so she could analyse it more carefully later – but she had fallen asleep.

"Rise and shine, May!"

"Sorry?" May sat up, furiously blinking, trying to get things in focus.

When she opened her eyes properly, she found her dad smiling at her from the bedroom doorway. He was clean-shaven and immaculately dressed – if you didn't count the apron he was wearing. His hair was wet and combed. He smelt like after-shave and fake optimism.

"You're wearing an apron?" May said, propping herself on her elbows, not yet ready to commit to sitting upright or getting out of bed.

"Max and I are doing pancakes." Norman said.

It was as if a cue for Max, who suddenly yelled out, "They're bubbling, Dad! Come and flip them!"

"Coming! Come on, May. It's quarter to seven. We're having a family breakfast." Norman called back to Max, and explained to May.

May winced.

"For me? Please? We need to do this!" Norman pleaded, his smile fading for a moment.

"Just give me a…ah…Just give me a minute and I'll be right there." May sighed and nodded, as she held up a single finger.

Norman gave May a grateful smile and turned to leave.

"Dad? Is everything OK?" May asked hastily, before her Dad exited the room. Norman's head poked back to the corner of the door.

"It will be, May." Norman offered a half-smile and then disappeared.

Ten minutes later, May was eating under-cooked, doughy pancakes.

"Buddy, your pancake isn't meant to be an island in a sea of syrup. You've got enough syrup there to sink Kanto! Now, open your mouth and I will check whether you still have some teeth left." May mocked her younger sibling, while confiscating the Maple Syrup Bottle away from Max.

May turned back to her Dad, but he was gone. He was moving around the kitchen from the stove to the fridge to the pantry, as though he knew what he was doing. May watched in fascination and horror as her Dad started to juice some oranges.

"Make sure there's no pulp, Dad!" said Max through a mouthful of pancake, as though the scene they were witnessing was normal - which, of course, it was not.

"Will do!" Norman replied, in what May could tell was a forced cheerful tone.

May was bewildered – kitchen hovering Dad making pancakes on the weekend when he was usually expecting Mum to serve breakfast? May was keen for answers as she burst her thought out, "What the hell is going on here?"

"It's alright, May. I know you're scared. There have been so many changes lately. I just want you to know that I'm back. Your Dad is back! I'm here one hundred per cent for you guys, and we're going to make this work. I know I sort of dropped the ball for a while there, but I swear, you guys, I've picked the ball right back up. I found the ball and I'm running with it, right? We're going to make this work together! I've got to put all my eggs into the family basket – that's what everyone helped me realise last night." Norman crouched as he lectured May.

"Eggs smell!" Max muttered screwing up his face.

But all May could think of was _what happened last night?_

"OK, gang, now who's up for some muesli?" Norman asked as he stood up.

"ME!" cheered Max, who seemed to think they were in the middle of a pantomime. Norman immediately started scooping muesli into Max's bowl.

May stared as her Dad handed the bowl to Max who immediately started picking out the orange and green things. Norman didn't even seem to notice when Max poured milo cereal into the mix.

'What about you, May?" Norman asked his daughter.

"Pass." May said, still dazed by the witnessing scene. She looked at her Dad. She looked at Max's bowl of chocolate mush. She looked at her glass of orange juice, which was full of pulp and a fair bit of rind.

"No, you'll love it, May. I made it early this morning. It's a recipe I picked up last night from a lovely lady in my group. I'd better get moving, you taking max to school?" Norman said, wiping his hands on his apron and looking at his watch.

"The way I do every morning? Yeah, dad, I think I've got it covered. What group, though? What group did you go to last night?" May followed her dad out of the kitchen and into his study, and stood in the doorway watching him rifle through papers. As she asked the question, she leaned on the door-frame keenly anticipating an answer.

"The singles' group I've joined at re-Relate Hoenn. Remember? I think you might have had something to do with it." Norman said, putting a bill in his mouth as he piled himself with folders and medical journals.

If May was drinking something, she would've done a spit take. If she was eating something, she would've choked. But since she had neither drink nor food, she simply face-palmed at what her dad had just announced. And 2 words were flashing her brain. Red flag. Red flag. Big, fat, bright _red flag_.

"Shit, Dad, that's not why I gave it to you. It's not a singles' group; it's a single parents' _support _group! You know that, right?" May explained desperately, sounding just a tad hysterical and following her Dad out of the study and along the hall to the front door.

Norman wasn't even listening, to May's disappointment. His mobile phone had just beeped and he was scrolling through a message and laughing out loud.

"Gardiena just sent me her recipe for iced-coffees, she's a lovely lady. Her boyfriend left her – he lied to her. Remind me tonight to send her my recipe for fish pie!" Norman said, smiling, not even looking at May. As he mentioned the 'lying boyfriend' bit, his voice turned fierce and agitated.

"Fish pie? Gardiena? Who's that? I'm sorry, but have we met?" May scrambled to keep up with her dad as he headed towards the car. But he wasn't listening – too busy attempting to text something back to 'Gardiena'. This was not how things were meant to go. He was supposed to be learning how to work things out with Caroline! Not trading recipes with other women.

What on earth had May done?

**At May's school!**

Professor Birch was in one of those _Dead Poets Society _moods in Extension English and decided to conduct the entire lesson outside under the trees. Unfortunately, Misty and May ended up being squashed behind Gary and Drew. At first, Drew's solution was to pretend May didn't exist but that changed once Gary started to comment.

"First I sit on an ants' nest, now I get May Maple's shoes up my arse. You think she'd scrunch up a bit." Gary snickered. Gary and Drew sniggered like the children they were. Gary ducked around randomly, presumably demonstrating scrunching – little sis May know that Gary was actually demonstrating her ducking at David Jones. Drew thought it was hilarious.

Professor Birch was explaining to his students about authors writing their story based on true experience. When the professor moved on to answering someone's question, Gary whispered to Drew in a voice deliberately loud enough for Misty and May to hear, "If he wants us to write about what we know, guess I'll have to turn my character into a sex god who's constantly banging chicks!"

Gary laughed at his own joke. Drew smiled. May grunted in disgust and said, "Like you've ever had sex, Gary Oak."

"What would you know, Maple? For your information, I had sex last weekend." Gary lied, rolling his eyes and keeping his voice hushed into a whisper.

"Yeah? Well, I hope she gave you a receipt with that." May said, nodding her head at him.

_Drew _laughed. Misty laughed. Gary frowned and struggled to think of a comeback. Meanwhile May sat back, smug, and enjoyed the rest of the lesson.

**In the library with May. (Lunch time)**

May didn't get to check her emails and read Drew's paragraph until she was logged onto one of the student computers in the library during lunch.

May's eye twitched as she read the paragraph. What the hell was absinthe? And what the hell was up with the cat, whose name was May, drowning in the freakin custard remark? Drew was trying to screw up the story. A rage began to swell inside May. For just a second there that morning, when Drew laughed at her joke, he seemed almost human to May! May couldn't believe she let her guard down. You want a want a literary war, Drew Haydens? You got –

"Are you emailing Drew? Are you and Drew _emailing _each other?" May spun around to see Leaf standing behind her, sporting a horrified expression.

"No, OK, yes, but-"May stammered in protest.

"HOLY. SHIT." Emma said, holding her hands up to May's face.

"No, Leaf! No, see, Professor Birch put us together to do a tandem-story assignment. We have to email each other every day with a new paragraph. That's all. Nothing else. And I didn't tell you because I thought you might get upset." May objected, attempting to grab Leaf's hand. Leaf, in return swatted her hand away doubtfully. Leaf nodded and put her chin down like a sad Labrador puppy.

"And, look, you can read the emails. See, there's no chit chat! Drew's just being his usual dickhead, arrogant self. And you should see the stuff he's writing for this assignment. Who knows how he ever got accepted into Extension English?" May said, scrolling up and down her computer screen as evidence.

"OK, but you know, don't be nice to him or anything." Leaf said, nodding once again – obviously more convinced.

"I won't. No niceness coming from me. I promise." May assured her best friend.

"Please, tell me your Mum packed you some brownies in your lunch today! Which reminds me – hey, I'm sorry I couldn't talk to you on the phone last night. My English tutor arrived early yesterday – he's making me write haikus. Total nightmare. And they're not even English poems! Anyways, you were saying something about your Mum yesterday when I had to go…" Leaf gasped, leaning her chin on top of the cubicle divider.

"Oh, look…Doesn't matter. No biggie." May smiled, waving the matter away with her hands.

"Are you sure? It sounded important. Did you want to talk about the police-station thing?"

May stared at Leaf for a moment, figuring out what to say. Could she talk about it? This was her chance to tell Leaf about her mum leaving. About how her Dad turned into the crappy version of the guy in _ready, steady, COOK! _About how weird it was not having her Mum there when she would return from school. What if May started crying while explaining to Leaf? Every day May didn't tell Leaf made it more difficult to bring up. But when May was about to say something, Misty walked up.

"Hey, apparently Mrs Lenora is downstairs in the quadrangle and she brought her baby!" Misty exclaimed.

"Awesome, Misty! You coming, May? A totally want to see Mrs L and her baby!" Leaf jolted, hey eyes glistening.

"Nah, you guys go ahead." May rejected the offer, holding up a cheerfully deceiving smile. Leaf suspiciously frowned but was dragged away by Misty to see the baby.

With Leaf and Misty gone, May turned back to the paragraph and typed her response to Drew the Dickhead.

_Drew, _

_I'm DULL? I'm sorry, but so far all your character has done is plummet through the air. It would be good, Drew, if Max could, you know, have some time on land. Or is your whole story going to be based in mid-air? Your story is lame and unfulfilling and so far set entirely inside the head of your character and IN THE AIR. I'm really beginning to wonder how you were accepted into Extension English. Clearly, it's above you. _

_Nice touch with the cat, May, drowning in the custard. Hilarious. Fell over laughing at that one. Your genius knows no bounds. Clearly. _

_May_

_Elizabeth hears a thud. She puts down her teacup and wanders over to the window. There she sees a man with an un-opened parachute strapped to his back lying motionless on the front lawn, his arms and legs askew like a dropped rag doll. Elizabeth called for Alfred to dial for an ambulance, tightens the belt on her robe and makes her way outside. Under a clear, blue winter sky, Elizabeth stares at the dead man on her lawn, repulsed by his numerous warts and fishy smell. She contemplates the stranger's penchant for polyester until the ambulance officers arrive, then she sighs and says a prayer, realising that the knife the poor fellow had been carrying in his mouth had cut off his tongue. Even if this mystery parachutist had survived the fall, he would never have been able to speak again. _

***head-desks* Just when I try to write a decent chapter before Exam Block (starting tomorrow), it always seems to turn out short and rushed with no range of extensive vocabulary. *sniff sniff* WHY? WHY ME? WHY? WILL I EVER WRITE A CHAPTER THAT IS DECENT IN SIZE? NO! Waaaaaaah! WHY? Meh, I don't know why – but sorry anyways!**

**Did you all see what May did in that paragraph? Did you? Did you? On how she killed Drew's character, Mad Max Eislander, and also called the character warty and also announced that he smelt like fish? Anyone? Oh, and not just did May kill Drew's character but she also cut his tongue off! That's what Drew got for calling May 'dull'! Never mess with May in a literary war in my story! Hehehehehehe! I'm evil… Sorry Drew! **

**Have you noticed that I mentioned Gardiena in this chapter? She seems to be somewhat attached to Norman…And they will meet up and drew and May will be like 'WHAT THE FREAKIN HELL?' and it will be hilarious! It was too bad I made sure May didn't know that Gardiena was Drew's Mum…More drama for when they all meet up!**

**I have also officially decided that towards the end, who knows when, that Caroline and Norman will eventually come together. I think it suits well! **

**Did you also see the awesome joke I put into this chapter? The one May mentioned with the 'receipt' to Gary? Did anyone actually understand that joke? I hope you did, if you didn't – just mention it in your review or simply PM me. I'll explain! **

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, despite its size! Thanks!**


	9. Chapter 9: The Final Countdown!

**I know this took so long to arrive, but hey, IT ARRIVED! XD And I thought it would never come... Well, I'm sorry it took so long – it's just that I was torn between two ideas. I wasn't sure whether I should do the 'meeting' in Drew's perspective, or construct the build-up more and write the 'meeting' in May's perspective. If you read this chapter, than you will probably figure out that I chose the second one. So sorry if my story plot seems way out in this chapter! **

**I would like to give a **_**very **_**special mention to mayeevee for multiple reasons! She's so nice and lovely, always encouraging and inspiring me and is constantly with me no matter the situation. She's absolutely wonderful and an amazing friend and she is simply awesome! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

**Oh, and, ****I went to my bestie's house this afternoon, and we were trying to be idiots impersonating animals. However, I forgot my onesie, so she gave me some clothes which were black & white to match the 'Zebra' theme. XD Anyways, then she FORCED me to take selfies of myself in the 'Zebra Clothes' in front of her room mirror. Then, when I arrived home, she sent me her favourite selfies which I took on her phone. I thought of using it as my avatar, since I'm NOT wearing a wig this time. So, if you see my avatar change, don't freak out and say, "AN UGLY BEAST HAS DOMINATED LAUNA'S AVATAR!" because the ugly beast is actually me. XD**

**Anyways, I side-track far too much! Here is the next chapter!**

**With Drew, in his room. **

What the fuck? Drew told her that her story's dull, and she killed Eislander.

Kersplat, and he's dead on the grass. And separated from his tongue. And where the hell did May get the knife in the teeth from anyhow? Drew didn't write that.

Sure, there was the hallmark Maple stupid, inconsequential reference to tea, and some of the inevitable, tedious sighing, but…

Okay, Drew was stumped. Nothing occurred to him on the walk to school. Nothing occurred to him all morning. Eislander was dead. His carefully wrought, ice-cold killer of a character was tongueless and dead, and he would rather be the same than write the next paragraph if all he got to work with was Elizabeth, sighing and pondering. That was just wrong.

Drew went to put his case Professor Birch at lunch, and he stopped Drew before he could give any details. The professor interrupted with, "Just general terms. I don't want to buy the specifics. So, what's your question?"

"Well…" Drew tried to work out how to put it in a balanced, general way, "What if one person killed another person's character? We wouldn't be allowed to do that, would we? That wouldn't be fair, would it?"

"Tandem, Drew," the professor says, "You might want to analyse the way you're looking at things. It's not _your _characters and _the other person's _characters. You're _sharing _this story. Two great minds working together. Maybe we should talk more about this in class,"

"I'd really rather not,"

"Well then, I think it's up to you, isn't it? To take that vivid imagination of yours. Nettle through and, in the spirit of team-work, offer your partner something great in return. This is all part of the challenge, remember? And great material for the companion essay. Think of it as an opportunity. As far as the story goes, what does it give you? Why did May kill the character? Ask yourself that,"

Drew snickered. Why did May kill his character? Because he drowned 'her' in custard in the previous paragraph using a kitten as proxy, obviously. That's what Drew should say, but he stuck with, "Thanks, professor. That's great,"

"That's no problem, Drew. I'm keenly waiting your response," the professor's eyes seem to jiggle up and down, and Drew thought he stopped just short of a wink. He went back to his lunch.

Drew bit his lip as he returned to lunch. It was May's own custard, so Drew thought that was fair. He wasn't the one who brought custard into it! But it was Drew who decided to start with his character plummeting, and he guessed he should admire May for killing him off with the landing. She never gave Drew a chance to land for Eislander, though, with all that ponderous tea talk. That's all her fault. Drew was totally ready to load Eislander up with more guns and ammo and was ready to cram in more action than he ever did.

They could have done something with those characters if May wasn't such a slow-motion. And 'lame'? _'Lame'_? Drew wasn't happy about 'lame'. Drew wanted so much action that there wouldn't even be room for adjectives, but what chance did May give him? Wallpaper had more narrative than most of her paragraphs, and she called Drew's lame.

But killing Eislander, and cutting his tongue out? That was good, and Drew couldn't deny it. It was quite a move. Drew was kind of feeling shitty about the warts and the fish smell, though. He didn't know why the paragraph needed that.

Drew headed towards his best friend, Gary. Gary was dousing three tuckshop sausage rolls in sauce when Drew found him.

"How'd you go with the dobbing?" Gary asked. He had far too much time to reflect on it while Drew was questioning the professor, "Which, by the way, is very cool. It'll certainly stop May from wanting you!"

"She doesn't want me!" It snapped out of Drew like a volley at the net – too fast, "And more importantly, I wasn't dobbing. I was just… Seeking a point of order. That's legitimate,"

"Sure," Gary said smugly, and then he put a sad look on his face and continued with a whiny voice, "Professor Birch, nasty May Maple broke my character. Boo hoo. Can you fix it, professor, and tell her she's bad? Boo hoo,"

"It wasn't like that,"

"No. Of course it wasn't. Boo hoo," Gary took a bite of his sausage roll, and sprayed some greasy flakes of pastry when he laughed. Some of them ended up on Drew's pants. Drew should never have told Gary about his trouble with May.

"It's easy for you. You're paired up with Paul, who has no imagination,"

"Hey, who said Paul had no imagination? We're doing fine," Gary protested.

"You said he had no imagination,"

"Oh, yeah… And then I went and told Professor Birch all about it in my whiny, dobbing voice and… Oh, no, hang on a second. That wasn't me at all. That was someone else. Different issue," Gary snickered, winning back a point on the 'debate'.

Drew picked up one of Gary's sausage rolls and took a bite out of it, "Ass-hole…" Some pastry flakes spray back towards Gary as Drew said it.

"Sure, spit my lunch at me," Gary said, and laughed again, "That'll make you the winner!"

"Well, we'd be even , then, since you're the winner when it comes to the chicks. I assume you'll be scoring again this weekend? Unless you're a bit light on for cash, of course,"

Gary pushed half a sausage roll into his mouth, "Yeah, nice," Gary said, in a muffles kind of way, "Picking up Maple's scraps now. I've got no idea why I'm not constantly banging chicks," he then smirked, and a flake of pastry fell from his lip.

"Sure. We both know you're quite a package,"

The boys started playing handball before Gary had swallowed his last mouthful. Drew worked up serious sweat. On the way to his next class, his short was sticking to him and his socks were slipping in his shoes. Fish? Does he smell like fish? Every day after lunch, after handball, do I turn up at the next lesson lathered with foul, repulsive fishy sweat? May must have got that idea from somewhere.

Okay, cutting the tongue out? Clearly a metaphor for silencing Drew and stopping him from writing his paragraph, Fish smell? Clearly a metaphor for fish smell – Drew, fish smell, real world. Was anyone going to go to the formal with Drew? Anyone other than a fish? Or, at best, a mermaid?

Drew tried to take a subtle sniff at his armpit, though no species could do that.

"Can you smell fish?" Drew found himself asking involuntarily to Gary as they walked into the classroom, "What I mean is, my mum has been using this really weird laundry powder at the moment…"

So, Gary got to laugh again at Drew's expense, "I don't know what's gotten into you today, but please, keep it up. The rest of my life's kind of dull right now. Paul has got no imagination," Gary said.

**When Drew arrives home and is greeted by his mum, it's going to be interesting…**

"Okay, here's the plan," Gardiena said, "And I don't want you to misunderstand or say anything negative, because he's a really nice guy…"

Drew examined his mum carefully. Her mood had changed. They were riding a giddy upswing – at least that was how it felt. She was speaking quickly and hand-talking. She could take an eye out with the conversation. There's a new man, damnit, a new man already.

"You know how I said the support group went well?" Gardiena asked, urging Drew to back her up.

"A really useful catharsis – was that how you put it?" Drew suggested.

"Well, that too. But there was a new guy…"

Drew knew it. Drew knew the catharsis story was a cover. His mum was far more optimistic after the support group than any catharsis would make her. Drew bet she spent the whole trip home in the car trying to come up with the right word to cover the fact that she was cruising the meeting for a date.

"He seemed really nice," Gardiena said of the freshest piece of wreckage washed ashore, "And we've chatted a couple of times since. He's really down at the moment. Or he was. He's a little bit brighter now, but you know how it is with these things. Lots of ups and downs. You'd like him. I know you would. Which is good because…" There was hesitation. Gardiena's mouth started on a few words, but didn't finish them. Then she blurts out, "Because tomorrow night we – as in the you-and-me type of 'we' – we're going to meet him!"

"I'm sorry? I have to go on dates with them now?" Drew stammered, still rather bewildered.

"Oh, no, no. Not a date. How funny," Gardiena let out some forced laughter, "No, no. It's a support-group thing,"

"So you're all going out somewhere?"

"Oh no, not all, no. This is just a spin-off. He really needs some support and I think he's stuck at home and that does no good, so I thought it would be nice for him to get out. In a definite non-date environment. So we're going to Sizzler. Tomorrow night, with him and his children," Gardiena stuttered, attempting to sturdy her voice.

"Some guy and his kids at Sizzler?" Drew sighed. His mum had done a brilliant job in selecting the non-date environment, "Are you seriously telling me that I've got to go to Sizzler? And hang out with some gloomy guy who is down on his luck?"

"There's an unlimited salad bar with every main. You know how you like bottomless food deals,"

Drew couldn't fight his mum on that. Drew grappled with a Homer Simpson moment, contemplating the bread and butter pudding. There was a thought bubble with s huge, juicy tray of it, right above his head. Drew's stomach churned. He needed dinner now, "I don't have to make friends with those people, do I?"

"Oh, no. It's not like that. It's just about putting something more normal in his life. I think his children are young, anyway. Very young. We're just being supportive,"

"So, this is a good deed. You and I are doing a good deed," Drew said before retreating and agreeing to his mum that he would accompany her to Sizzler.

Drew headed to his room so he could submit his paragraph to May. He stares and stared at May's email, and then stared a bit longer. Then it hit him. May might have killed Eislander, but he's there in her story now. She blinked first. No custard, no capes, no… It's not over yet…

_Hey May, _

_Thanks for the Matthew Reilly comment. I can see you're gearing up for your companion essay. It's quite a tandem, matching the new Matt Reilly with writing vaguely reminiscent of Jane Austen (except substituting tea for ideas, narrative drive, talent, etc.). But welcome to the dark side. I'm glad Eislander is now real to you. Though you may, like many before you, have underestimated him. _

_Thanks, _

_Drew_

_This was surely the greatest disguise of all. Inside the latex death costume, Eislander stirred. Every detail had been worked out, right down to the cow's tongue and the capsule of fake blood he had carried in his mouth. He barely felt the fingers of the ambulance crew on the rubber sheath over his neck and wrists as they searched for a pulse, and soon they were gone. He stood, disengaged his chute, cut himself free if the costume and moved into the shadows. He made his way to the open door unseen. He took the old man out on the steps with the knife and, as the silver tea tray hit the ground and the teapot shattered into a million pieces that could never ever be stuck back together, he rolled an XM84 stun grenade through the doorway. There was a flash, a crack and smoke, and as the smoke cleared he saw him. Heckler. In a flowing dress and an auburn wig, and holding an ivory-handled hairbrush. Heinz 'Hands of Doom' Heckler, gone to ground months before and surfacing on the other side of the world as Elizabeth. Heckler was about to hate Tuesdays big-time. But only very briefly, as he was about to die. _

_PS – Okay, the Jane Austen remark was mean, but once I typed it; I couldn't resist sending it. Frankly, I've got to admire you for killing Eislander. And the tongue thing was a nice touch. I think we're really onto something here. _

**Huff…Puff…Although it may seem relatively short, it took AGES to write! XD I don't actually blame myself, though, for making this short. I was getting desperate for ideas! Anyways, as for Sizzler, I need people's advice. Do you guys think that Sizzler is a good choice? Or do you have any better ideas that would enhance the next chapter? If so, please, either mention it in your review or PM me! **

**Oh, and can you see what Drew has done? I am trying to make it interesting in the tandem-story, but I'm not sure whether it's working. Anyways, please review and I will give you a gummy bear if you do! XD**


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